Diary of a Caretaker for the Elderly

NY CHILDHOOD

2011-07-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

My sister, Esther, told me I didn’t write anything about my own early years.

To write about the real early years is not easy. I am going to try, gentle reader so be patient with me.

I was born & raised in Columbia City Indiana so There was 8 children (four boys & four girls. I was the 4^th one born. . I know now we were poor but I never knew this when I was a child. No one ever told me I was poor so I figured we were like everyone else. OH!! The innocence of kids. I remember how we all liked raw potatoes and we were always barefooted. To this day I don’t like shoes. When my brother, Jerry, was in second grade the teacher asked him where his shoes were and he told her it wasn’t his turn to wear them!! If we got a hole in the bottom of the shoes we put a piece of cardboard in and it worked for a while.

I never had new clothes because I could wear my sisters so it worked out w

My father was a Plummer and he was never home. He was always working but he was always home

for supper. I guess it was hard back than to care for a large family.

I was happy and had a lot of kids in the neighborhood.

My brother Paul was killed in an accident when he was 7. It was a terrible accident. WE had been playing in the house when we got company. Pau Ted & I ran out the back door in a race for the roof. WE could climb on top of the oil barrel and than get on the garage roof. Than when someone came out the door we could jump on then. We had done this before and it was fun. This time Paul was the first one on the top of the barrel when it fell. It threw Paul backwards and he hit his head on a brick. He died about ten minutes later. They never found a reason for the barrel falling and it was ruled an accident.

Death takes it toll on the family. The neighbors were all great and took is under their wings. They kept us busy with games and so much food. They even took us to church with them!!!

When I was about 9 I would go to my grandfathers house after school. I would walk to the Farmers Grain & Feed store and hitch hike!!! I never gave it a second thought, gentle reader. Try something like that today!!!! Everyone one knew my grandfather and they gave me a ride to the end of the lane.

I just loved going there.

ONE MORE DAY

2011-07-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

HI GENTLE READER , I am trying to stay on the happy side. I have two new jobs and things are sure looking better.t I must say a big Thank You to Kim,my niece, in NYC.Kim writes a blog also (the yummymummy.com) It is a fabulous blog and she also writes books. Kim's husband,David, does Broadway Shows and they have two great children!!! I don't know how she finds time to help ,e but when you talk to her you feel better no matter what is wrong. I got a call today for a job. I had applied for the job about two months ago but was turned down. The reason was a younger person got the job. When she called & told me the other person got the job I was devasted . I just thanked her for calling and told her if she ever needed someone to call me. Well it worked out. Today when she called me for the job she explained the other lady had three children and really needed the money. Now the other lady got a job with more hours so the job was open!! I understood how she felt and was just happy she called me. This job is only three hours a day but my other job is all weekend so it works out fine. I look back on the last few months and wonder how I let myself get so depressed!!! I know better and I sure know the symptoms but I just ignored them all. I will keep posting dear reader and hope you don't get to bored. Until the next time------SMILE LOVE RED		draft		7/12/11	by caretakerforelderly	Delete
	Edit	View	The Beginning of the End

The Beginning of the End

2011-07-02T06:48:00.000-07:00

Hello again gentle reader. I hope a few people are still around to read this blog. I was talking to my astrologer & friend, Tiny Shuster, and she said to start writing on my blog again. I am taking her advice and trying.

I have become extremely depressed over my life. I have not worked for two months and am lost. I have devoted my life to the elderly and really enjoyed what I done. I like to think I made a few people happy in my home. I always put the people first no matter what the situation was. I never refused anyone a place weather they had the money or not.
In order to understand this I must tell you the whole story. When my only daughter was 18 she was in an accident with her car. She was hit head on late at night. I received a call from the hospital about 12:30 am to come to the hospital as soon as possible. I had one elderly lady living in our home at the time. She had only been with us for about two months. I called a friend who came to stay while we were gone. It seemed like everything was in slow motion. I swear it was hours before we arrived at the hospital. We went through the door of the Emergency Room a friend was standing there. It was Joe Hickey from Corinth and he said , "ask for Dr. LaPointe, Ruth, he is the best!!!" We were shown into my daughter's room. The first thing she said was "Dad, I was not drinking. All I had was a coke!!" I asked her what happened and she said she didn't know. The aide came in and she took Beth to the x-ray room. My hisband & I went out in the hallway to wait. Deputy Sheriff Larry Cleveland was waiting for us. He explained he was the investigating officer on the accident. I asked if anyone was in the car with my daughter and he said no. There was no one in either car, just the driver. I asked how bad the other person was and he replied very softly," He just died!!!!" All I could think of was Thank God my daughter didn't die!!! It just seemed to echo in the room. As soon as she came back they wanted to take a blood test for alcohol. Beth was worried and kept telling he Dad " it was one coke!!!" He told her not to worry she was fine. I just stood there in shock but telling her I loved her.

The Dr. said she should be ok because it just a broken wrist & finger and she had hurt her knee. I was so relieved and we headed home because I had to do breakfast for my lady. About 9:00am the hospital called and said we needed to come as soon as possible; it was urgent. We arrived at the Intensive Care Unit to find Beth (my daughter) drugged. Dr. LaPointe took us in a small room and explained what happened. He said the steering wheel had glanced over her chest and the aorta vessel was going to rupture. He explained there was not any time to lose. She could not be flown to Albany Medical because the jolt of the elevator could kill her. The Glens Falls hospital had never done this type of operating and had anyone live. We really did not have a choice so I asked when they were going to start. He said "When your ready". I went down the hallway to her room and took her hand. I told her I loved her and she had to go upstairs for a while but she better remember I was waiting for her. Her Dad talked a little and we went to the waiting room. I went to the Ladies Room and went inside. I started crying and got on my knees. I promised God if he would give me back my daughter I would devote my life to the elderly.

The operation took almost 6 hours but I got my daughter back. When the Doctor was operating the aorta vessel ruptured and they had to shut the blood off the lower part of her body for about 45 minutes. . She would be in a wheelchair but that was ok. I had only asked for her back.. I truly meant what I said and I spent mu years taking in the elderly. I never refused anyone because God didn't ask me for money. It always worked out one way or another. I never worried about getting by because everything just seemed to work out.
I will stop now and do tomorrow dear reader.
Love Red

LOVING LIFE

2009-03-31T08:08:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful day today. I am at work and the sun is shining and snow melting!!! It makes you feel good just to think spring is on the way.
The couple I take care of are in their nineties and it is a pleasure to be allowed to care for them.
She has Parkinson’s and unable to walk any more. He has heart problems and uses a walker. His mind is excellent but hers is not too good. When she smiles, gentle reader, it is a great thing to see.
This is the type of job you really learn to appreciate what you have. To see people married for over 60 years and still totally devoted to each other. She might have dementia but she knows her family and always knows her husband.
I was feeling sorry for myself, dear reader, because of my eyesight and than I see these folks and forget my problems.
I need to count my blessings more often. It is very easy to sink into depression and be angry but it does not help.
When I see the sun shingg it reminds me of Ed. He had come to live with us when he was about 70.His vision was getting bad and he needed a lot of help. He was having a hard time getting used to the idea he couldn’t drive any more. A friend had brought his car to him and I was upset with this. I told him I didn’t allow cars here but he refused to move it. Than I told him he would have to pay storage fees for this. That got his attention. I contacted his friend and told him to come and get it. Ed had thought with the car here he could just go sit in it sometimes. I know how he felt but than he thought he could just drive around town. I felt like I spent most of my time trying to make Ed feel better.
When I explained how easy it would be to hit someone he just argued. I finally told him his friend had 24 hours to move the car or I would have it towed. His friend came and got the car and I called Dr. Pitkin to come and see ED.
Dr. Pitkin came and he prescribed an antdepressaant for him.It took about two weeks for this to work but after that Ed was fine. He started coming out of his room and talking to the other people. That really helped immensely. I don’t believe in taking a lot of medicine but sometimes, gentle reader, it is necessary. I even felt like I needed something by than!!!
I quit smoking 5 years ago and you know, gentle reader, I still find myself reaching for a cigarette sometimes. When I do I pick up the phone and call a friend. The same is true of depression so I pick the phone up again. Thank God I have great friends who put up with me.
Until the next time ,please call a friend and thank them for being your friend.
Love, Red

BEAUTY TREATMENT

2009-01-18T07:50:00.000-08:00

It was certainly a beautiful day out. The weatherman said it would be very warm and sunny. The temperature was already 80 and we had the windows open.There was air conditioning but we only used it if it got humid or 90.
This was the day Betty came to do hair. Everyone got their hair washed and cut if they wanted. It always made the folks happy to see her. Betty was a very compassionate person. She never hurried and wanted everyone happy with their hair. Sometimes it got very interesting because most of the folks could not bend over the sink. To make up for this Betty put a plastic cape over their clothes and the water would run into a large container. His seemed fine but we always had one person who would be soaked and deceide they had to go pee. It never failed but we managed.
Betty had been there about two hours when we heard the emergency whistle blow. I didn’t think much of it because all my people were ok. Then the whistle blew again. All of a sudden Betty came rushing downstairs and said, “I have to go because I am sure it is my house”. She was out the door and gone in less than a minute. I could not imagine what was wrong and I got a terrible feeling. Kate, she had worked for me for a long time, helped me finish everyone. I was so glad to have her there working that day. Kate was the type who could walk in and pick up anything that was going on. I always called her my right hand.
We found out later it was Betty’s husband who had died in the fire. It was very devastating to all of us. The folks were upset and it took a few weeks to get recovered.
You always had to be ready for any unexpected things. It could be funny or sad but the main thing was to be ready with some kind of an answer. I think this is where the term “wing it” came it.
If I had one of the people ask me when they were going home I always said, “Tomorrow you can go.” I used this line more than any other.
I will leave you, gentle reader, with one thought: how many goals have you reached in your life? Do you remember how worried you were over something a year ago? Did it really matter? Think how much time and energy yiou spend on little things and put them behind you. You will feel better and I think you will probably smile more.
Love, Red

GOING DOWN ANYONE?

2009-01-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

New Years Day has arrived and I am making a New Year’s resolution. Ready?? I am going to write more blogs. I have a new laptop computer to work with and I am not going to be defeated by my eye sight. I have macular degeneration and my left eye is not doing so good. I will try my best to still do blogs but you, my gentle reader, must bear with me if I make errors.
In my last blog I had mentioned Bill. He was a very belligerent 63 year old man. He had several medical problems and was unable to stay home alone. He had no family so he was all alone. No matter what the subject was he always said what he thought and insisted his version was the only one that mattered. It was so bad the other folks would ignore him. I tried to keep the peace but it was very trying. Bill got so he stayed in his room most of the time just lying in bed. I tried to get him to read but no luck. He had a chip on his shoulder and nothing moved him. He started wanting his meals served in his room and I said no. I allowed him breakfast but told him he needed to come to the table for meals. The language he used was horrible so I just left his room. He came for the evening meal and I breathed a sigh of relief. I should have known it would not last. The next day after breakfast he informed me he would take all meals in his room!! I repeated what I had said. II tried reasoning with him but nothing seemed to get through. I always reminded myself to remember these people were ill and I should be very patient no matter what they said.
The next day started out ok with Bill even coming to the table for breakfast. When it came time for lunch it was a different story. I went to his room and he said he wanted luch served in his room. I refused and we were at a stalemate. I waited until 100 and told him lunch was over and if he wanted a sandwich to come to the kitchen anytime. He replied with a few choice words and I left. He never came out of his room all afternoon. I called him at 4:45 for dinner and he informed me he was eating in his room I told him if he refused to come to the table I would call thee Dr. I than went back to the kitchen. It was not five minutes later when Carl hollered”Hey!!! Someone just jumped out the upstairs window”!! It took a few seconds for that to sink in and then I realized it was Bill. He had opened his window and jumped! I rushed outside and there he was on the blacktop driveway screaming. I called the Emergency Squad and they came and rushed him to the hospital. the end result was he had broken his ankle but otherwise was ok.
It took me quite a while to recover from that. He was evaluated in the hospital and admitted to the Mental Health Unit. The Doctor explained he had been there before and would be placed in a secure facility for the rest of his life.
Whenever something liked this happened I always felt like I had failed. It would take a while to pull myself together again.
It made me realize I could not help everyone but you do the best you can.
Until the next time, dear reader, try to go through one week with out raising your voice or becoming upset. Look for the cause and you will feel better.
Love Red

SEEING IS BELEIVING

2008-12-07T15:46:00.000-08:00

This is about Ellen. She came to live with us at the age of 87. She had slight dementia and was able to walk just a few feet. Her ankles and legs were very swollen and it was painful for her. Ellen watched TV a lot and would try to walk to the bathroom but you knew it hurt. She was so proud and you had to try and help her without letting her know. It really got interesting at times.
The holidays were always a beautiful time in the house. Everyone would watch or try to help. We always decorated so much. If it didn’t move it got decorated. The tree was the biggest thing. Everyone had ideas and I just let them do what they wanted. When it was all done we would spend the evening singing songs and telling stories. No one went to bed on time so it was always late. By the time 10:00 rolled around I had everyone tucked in. Ellen wanted to talk to her husband (who had died) but she finally drifted off.
I was busy trying to get everything done and set up for breakfast. Before I knew it the clock struck 11:00. I told my Mother, who was visiting at the time, to go to bed. I said I would check everyone and go myself. When I got to Ellen’s bed it was empty!!! I mean it was empty!! I even went over and patted the bed because I could not believe it was empty. Her walker was there but she was gone. I checked the bathroom and no one. I got my husband up and Mother heard us. Ellen had gotten up; put on her shoes and coat and was gone. This lady could hardly walk.
It had snowed about 3 inches and my husband looked out on the sidewalk. You could see where she had gone. She had walked down the ramp across the road and was lying on the neighbor’s lawn! My husband picked her up and carried her back to the house. We got her coat and shoes off and got her in bed. I checked every inch of her and determined she wasn’t injured but I knew she could get pneumonia very easily. Mother and I decided we would keep her nice and warm but massaging her for a few hours. We took turns and about 4:00 I figured we would let her sleep. I still could not believe she had done that.
I didn’t want to call the Doctor because I was afraid I would be in trouble since I had only been in business a few months. I did tell him several years later and he got a laugh about it.
The next morning she was in great shape and didn’t remember anything! My Mother and I both caught colds from the whole ordeal.
Ellen was with us for about a year or more and died one night in her sleep.
I learned a lot from all the people and believe me no two were ever alike.
The next story will be about Bill and the lesson he taught me.
Today, dear reader is a day to smile. It can be contagious so smile all day long.
Love Red

SAVING MEDICINE

2008-11-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

I have been a little late in posting my story but we have been sick. Dave got a cold that turned into bronchitis. Then we thought he had pneumonia but he didn’t. Finally started on the antibiotics and then I stared coughing. I really don’t have time for a cold so I started on the pills also.
It is interesting but when I ran the business it was rare for me to get ill. I guess I never stood still long enough for anything to catch up with me.
I had been discussing pills with Doctor Pitkin. He always tried to keep the pills low and not give out any medicine that was not necessary. That was fine but there was always one person who would want more.
When I got a new resident in Doc would come and check the person out. Sometimes he would change the medicine and the person usually agreed with what he said. I had one lady, Nellie, who insisted she needed pain pills all the time. It was almost impossible to reason with her. She would insist she was in horrible pain but you knew she wasn’t. She was the type of person who cried out in pain if you tried to give her a small hug. She didn’t want anyone touching her at all. When Dr. Pitkin came he had to do an exam on her. He told me she would scream and to prepare myself. I tell you, gentle reader, that was an understatement. and I am telling you, dear reader, she screamed!! I don’t mean she yelled I mean she literally screamed! It scared a few people but when he left she was fine. I was just happy he didn’t have to do that anymore.
There were a few people I got who had been off their medicine for a long time. They thought if they cut their pills in half it would save money. I heard these stories like this and also another was to save teabags. If done properly they would use the same tea bag over & over. It made me sad to think of how they deprived themselves.
We had no rules when it came to visiting. I always said anyone could come when they wanted. If I was vacuuming or washing clothes it never seemed to bother anyone. One day a lady said her son, who was a president at a college was coming to visit. So I got my hair done and dressed up and waited. I wanted to make a really good impression. He finally showed up and he was wearing mens knee pants and a T-Shirt. He remarked he never dressed unless he was working!! I really felt stupid so I went and changed into my everyday clothes and forgot about it. The residents always wore what they wanted because it was their home and they were comfortable.
That is it for now,dear reader, so until the next time when you have nothing to do for 5 minutes count your blessings. This is very easy to do when you're sitting at a stop light. Don’t get upset with traffic, cool down. Think positive and start counting and you will be amazed at how nice life can be.

Love Red

DEALING WITH DEATH

2008-11-17T06:36:00.000-08:00

I dealt with people dying a lot in the 30 years of running the business. It was never easy but I learned to cope with it over the years. It was never the same with anyone. I never developed the professional attitude. I cried for all of them because I cared.
When my Mother died it was very peaceful and she was actually smiling. Mom had Parkinson’s disease and years ago there was not a lot you could do about it. To see this beautiful intelligent woman deteriorate was horrible. She had always enjoyed making quilts but her hands shook so she had to stop. I think that was the worst time of the disease. The night she died she told my sister, Esther, she was going to see Harry & Paul. Harry was my Dad who had died before and Paul was my brother who died when he was 8 years old. My sister told me what Mom said and I walked into the bedroom and asked her how she was. She said she was tired. I said, “You better get some sleep or you will have dark circles under your eyes. How can I tell everyone I have the most beautiful Mother in the world with that?” She smiled that beautiful smile and said “I love you, honey”! I said “ I love you Mom” and that was all. She died in her sleep about four hours later. It was sad but I was happy she was at peace. That is the way I always felt when one of my people passed on. Their suffering was over and they were in a better place with no pain.
I had a phone call last Tuesday to let me know my dear friend, Edith, had died. I tell you dear reader; it was a very hard thing to hear. This is the lady I met in the Doctor’s office and helped out. I wrote about her in my blog May 18. She did move to Georgia and lived with her daughter & son-in-law and she loved it. We visited her in October and went to the Atlanta Aquarium with the family. This is because I took a minute to talk to someone in a doctor's office who needed a friend. I ended up meeting the family and now I have more friends and a lot of beautiful memories. When I think I only knew her a short time but I will remember this gracious lady the rest of my life.
The only bad time when a person dies is when the family doesn’t care. There have been many of those. One time they even refused to buy a decent dress for burial and I was so shocked. It wasn’t that she didn’t have anything it was the fact the relatives wanted it all. They didn’t understand why she needed something new to be buried in. She had lots of night gowns but no dresses. The reason for not having dresses or slacks is because she was bedridden and only wore night gowns. The niece suggested we use her nightgown. You must realize, dear reader, I had to be nice to everyone but in a situation like that it was very hard. On the other hand there were relatives who literally went to pieces. In my way of thinking the true colors of people came out.
In closing ,dear friend, I ask you to call a person you have neglected or argued with and remain friends. Life is too short to hold grudges and you will feel better for it and so will they.
Love Red

SLIDIND at MINERS

2008-10-28T07:44:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day with the sunshine and the snow on the trees. Everything sparkled and looked so beautiful, dear reader. You would have thought Mother Nature was putting on a show. We had about 8 inches of new snow and everything l;ooked so fresh.The folks were excited because I told them the kids were coming to slide. If there was one thing they enjoyed it watching the kids come flying down the hill on their sleds. There was a large picture window that looked out over the lower part of the hill. It was a long steep hill and Clem would pull them up to the top with the 4-wheeler and than they would come down fast. Someone was always running into the other one but it was all in fun. When they were cold they came in and of course had to tell everyone how fast they were. Then it was who was the fastest and who got in the way. The folks just loved this. Margie was always giving out hugs and Amy was giving out cookies. Andrew was a little shy and stayed by the fireplace waiting for the mittens to dry. Bridget would supervise and go in Bob’s room to tell him. Bob could look out his window and see the kids but Bridget was his best friend. Remember, gentle reader, Bob was the WW2 POW. He always called Bridget “Lynn Bridget”. I asked him once why he called her this instead of Bridget Lynn and he said “Because she is special”. That was the beginning of a great friendship with the two of them. Once they had hot cocoa and cookies it was back to the hill to slide.
The other part of a great surprise was watching the deer come walking down the hill. Everyone gathered around the window and whispered. It was so exciting to them to see this. They could talk for hours about what the deer were doing. Usually there was two deer or more and if there happened to be a fawn the folks would be speechless!!
Mary was due home from the hospital. She had fallen the day before and had to go to the ER. They kept her overnight and decided she could return and just rest. Of course, gentle reader, she lapped this right up. If there was one thing Mary liked it was a lot of attention and she sure got it. Mary was one of the best liked people in the family. She had one problem I had never handled before. When she went to bed she always managed to put her foot on the floor. If I tried to get her to put both feet in bed she would but as soon as you left the room her foot was slowly eased back out and on the floor. No matter what you did the foot was on the floor. I finally gave up and let her do this but I never encountered this again. I guess, dear reader, we all have our little habits.
I also had Violet, who was in the same room as Mary, and she worried about Mary as much as Mary worried about her. Sometimes it was a contest to see who could cover the other one more. Violet was afraid Mary would catch cold so she had to tuck her in. Than Mary would do the same. It usually stopped when I told them to stay in bed but you had to just love them To see the elderly care for each other was a great thing and it always amazed me how much they cared.
Until next time, gentle reader, give someone a hug and call an elderly person and say hello.
Love,
Red

LOSING YOUR TEETH

2008-10-22T11:20:00.000-07:00

We were looking for false teeth!!! Verna had taken her false teeth out and didn’t know where she put them. To make matters worse she had gone into someone’s room and taken their teeth and she didn’t understand why they wouldn’t fit!!! This is when your sense of humor kicks in. I finally figured out who’s teeth she had and we found hers. In her mind she thought it was ok to take those teeth. It never occurred to her they were someone else’s. When I explained it to her she would just smile and say she was sorry. I tried to tell her she could not just take her teeth out and put them anywhere. She needed to put them in her room in her own cup. She agreed but of course in twenty minutes it was gone. That is how Dementia works.
I had a fireplace in the home and it was located in the sitting room. In this room there was no TV and folks could just sit and visit. When my Mother came to live with us she always enjoyed the fireplace. Clem, my husband, was the only one allowed to start the fire up and he took care of the wood. He was a logger so he knew how to do all this. Whenever Clem came in to put more wood on the fire they were all happy. They enjoyed talking to him and he really enjoyed talking to them. To have someone visit just made their day.
On this day, dear reader, my Mother had arrived from Indiana to live with us. My sister, Esther, had driven all day to get here and Mother was exhausted. We opened up the couch for her to lie down and Clem came to stoke the fire. Mother thought he was the best and was so very happy. She went to sleep and the next day we moved her into her room and she lived with us for a long time but always enjoyed Clem fixing the fire.
WE also had two dogs, German Sheppard’s, and they followed Clem everywhere. On this particular day, gentle reader, it had been very windy and cold. You could feel winter coming and almost smell the snow. It was getting late and Clem said he better put some wood on the fire for the evening. He headed for the house and both dogs went with him. About a half hour later he came back and I knew he was upset. He said “I have some bad news for you”. “When I was fixing the fire I heard the dog chewing and I thought he had brought a stick in the house. I wasn't paying much attention and when I got the fire done I called the dogs to leave. One of the dogs was still chewing so I checked to see what he had in his mouth. This is what he had”!!! He opened up his hand and there was a mangled mess!! It was what was left of Verna’s teeth! I could not believe what I was seeing. Evidently the dog found the teeth on the end table and started chewing them up. There is no way you are going to fix this mangled mess. Clem felt terrible and so did I. I was trying to think how to handle Verna the next morning. I got so stressed out I could not sleep. Everyone was sleeping for a change. I decided the only thing I could do was try to explain this to Verna in the morning.
The next morning I set the table for breakfast and then called everyone to wake and get ready to eat. The most shocking thing in the world was when I called Verna and she didn’t respond. She had died in her sleep. She never knew about her teeth and for that I am thankful.
It just goes to show you never knew what was going on at Miner’s.
The snow did come and the wind blew. I think we got about 18 inches and for the first time we were really snowed in. Usually Clem could keep ahead of snow by using the skidder but not this time. This is when Dick got sick and all signs pointed to a stroke or heart attack. I called the emergency number and explained I was snowed in. The next thing you know two huge snow plows came roaring up the driveway. It only took two runs and everything was cleared and Don was taken to the hospital.
He had a stroke but thankfully lived through it.
All in all it was just another week but you learn something new all the time. From then on everyone kept their teeth in their room, when not in their mouth!!!
Until next time, gentle reader, do a good deed and don’t tell anyone.
Love
Red

DEPRESSION

2008-09-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is hard to figure out if someone is depressed or just feeling a little down. The same is true of the elderly. I would try to figure if the person was just having a bad time or was truly in need of help.
Thinking about this reminded me of Kay.
Kay was a very nice lady who had called me from the hospital. The doctor told her she could no longer live alone so she called and asked me to come and see her. I went there the next day and had a long talk with her. She was having a lot of problems breathing and the doctor was thinking of putting her on oxygen. She didn’t want to do this, she thought it would be terrible and she would die faster. I had a talk with the doctor and we decided to try oxygen just at night and see how that worked. Kay came to live with us in May and was very talkative. Her husband, he was a scientist, had died several years before. Kay had taught nursing at a college in NYC. She was on a lot of medicine but her mind was very good. She knew each pill and what it was for. Kay liked to joke a lot and was always trying to cheer people up.
One day she asked if I ever went to the track. I told her I didn’t but my husband went every night. She wanted to know if she could go. She said she loved going out to dinner and watch the races. I thought this was nice so I offered to take her. She really enjoyed my husband and they would get into some great discussions involving horses. We got reservations at the Club House for dinner and off we would go. Of course she had to have her portable oxygen on but she didn’t mind. My sister, Esther, would go with us because you never knew what was going to happen with Kay. I always took an extra tank along just in case we needed it.
One night, while at the track the oxygen started running quite low. I told her not to worry I would go to the car and get the extra. I went to the car, which was quite a ways, and discovered I had lost my keys!! I got a Security Guard to help me to see if we could get in through the window. He couldn’t do it and by now I was really worried. What if she ran out?? The Security Guard assured me the Doctor on the Track had oxygen in the First Aid office. Than someone noticed the back side window was open just a tiny bit. They managed to get a long rod through this and hit the unlock button!! I grabbed the extra tank and hurried back to the Clubhouse. It was really just in time because the other one was out. When I told Kay and Esther what happened my sister said, “Your keys are in your sweater pocket, hanging on the back of your chair”!!I had completely forgotten I had a sweater on that evening! It turned out to be a good evening anyway because Kay won $12.00 on a bet.
I noticed over the next few days she did not seem to be herself so I called the Doctor. He said she was depressed and prescribed a medicine for her.
I tell you, gentle reader, you just don’t know when this happens. He said she had been depressed for quite a long time but just tried to hide it. After she took her medicine you could see a change in her. She was lot of fun and never complained about anything. The one thing she enjoyed in the evening was a glass of Johnny Walker Red before she went to bed. The Doctor said if she wanted it she could have it and she did. Never more than one but it was her choice.
She was one of the people I will never forget. When I think about the people I had, gentle reader, I don’t think I will ever forget any of them.
They were all special in their own way and I just loved them.
Until the next time, gentle reader, remeber to count your blessings.
Love Red

JUST ANOTHER DAY

2008-09-04T11:29:00.000-07:00

I had received a call from Saratoga Hospital about a room. There was a gentleman who could no longer live alone and wanted to meet me. I told Laura I would be there the following morning. I had recently remodeled and now had 5 bedrooms and five bathrooms, which sure made it a lot easier. The carpenter was almost finished so I thought I would be ok with getting another resident.
When I arrived at the hospital the next day I met Don. Don had Dementia (beginning stages) and was a very quiet gentleman. He had been married but his wife had died many years before so he tried to live by himself. The report said he had lived in one room for years, sleeping on a couch and eating TV dinners most of the time. His hair was down to his shoulders and so matted- you knew he hadn’t combed it in a looooong time! When I saw his toe nails I just could not believe it. They hadn’t been trimmed in months and were so long they curled.
I took him home and it was really interesting. The first thing I did was try to get him in a shower and what a battle that was.
“No woman was going to see him naked let alone give him a shower”!!I tried talking very quietly but after 15 minutes of that I got forceful. Melanie and I managed to get him undressed and in the shower. I had called Fran, my hairdresser, and she came to the house. When we got out of the shower she cut his hair. He was so mad at us he wouldn’t talk!! He looked about 10 years younger when we got through. Then I left him in his room saying his dinner would be ready in a little while. He never answered me so I knew we could have a big problem.
It was about a half hour later I went to the room to call him for dinner. What a surprise I got. He had turned on the TV and found the NYMETS playing and was so happy. I ended up fixing him a plate and letting him eat in his room and watch the game.
I always liked to have everyone together for meals but sometimes you bend the rules. This was one of those times. When the game was over and I wanted to get him ready for bed I expected a huge argument but he was great. Did not want to brush his teeth (found out he only had about six) otherwise he was fine. When his brother came to visit him the following week he couldn’t believe the change in him. He said he had tried for a long time to get him out of the apartment but Don wouldn’t leave. He was sure happy to see him being cared for. The only thing we had to wait for was Dr. Finger to come and trim his nails. He came the following week and Don was happy to get that done.
One of the most interesting things was that he couldn’t figure out where he was. When he got up the next morning he had forgotten completely where he was. He didn’t remember the shower, haircut or anything. That is the way dementia works which at times made our work easier. However it could also be the other way around.
If someone with dementia asked for a pain pill and you gave it to them, an hour later they didn’t remember and wanted another. It just kept us on our toes all the time.
Sometimes I swear I was getting forgetful so I would tell anyone who noticed” I am just rehearsing for Alzheimer’s so when I get it I will know how to act”!!
Keep smiling, dear reader, it always helps lighten the load.
Love Red

REFLECTIONS

2008-08-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

I went to a funeral the other day. It was for a lady I had the privilege of helping to take care of for the last two years. It was a beautiful service. The sun was shining and a nice breeze blowing and you looked real hard you could see her listening to the beautiful service. Her grandson played his guitar and sang a song to her. They played a song from Celine Dion which just flowed over the church so beautifully. Than her other grandson said a few words about what she had taught him. It was so nice to hear about this lady I never knew before. When I cared for her she was always worrying about her husband and her family. You never heard her complain about herself. She just wanted everyone to be ok. She was so proud of her family.
I was so used to hearing people complain about their problems it became normal. I reflected about a lot of things on my way home. This family is so close to each other. They never argued or had cross words to say about each other or other people. When I was working and cooked a meal I was expected to eat with the family. I became a part of this family. All the caregivers were treated so nice.
Whenever I went to work it was with a smile on my face because I enjoyed all of the family so much. This lady had meals served at the table. There were candles and cloth napkins and everything looked so beautiful. Before every meal Norm said a prayer and then he would very gently kiss the back of her hand. There was no TV on and it was always nice conversations going. He called her Bunny and she called him Brer Rabbit and this had been going on for 68 years.
Thinking about these things made me realize how fast life goes. When you realize you forgot to stop and smell the roses than you know you better slow down.
Have you really been listening to other people or just going through the motions?
I never want to fall into that rut so I try to listen. When I am caring for someone I have to figure out what is really going on. Men never want to tell you. It is this thing about you can’t complain.
Men think they are invincible until something goes wrong. Then they deny it if you ask. Women usually will tell another woman their problems.
I know this is short but just remember, gentle reader, tell someone you love them or give someone a hug and kiss. Life is just so short and we all have a lot to do.

Until the next time,

Love Ruth

DEMENTIA CAN BE GOOD

2008-08-05T14:34:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy, gentle reader, but when I tell you why you will understand.
I got married on July 25th to a wonderful guy. It was a small wedding with friends and family. I figured the third time around was enough so I kept it simple. Everything was great and we only had one problem. The best man choked on a piece of steak and Pat Marrow tried the Heimlich maneuver but it didn’t work. Bella called the fire department but it came out so all ended well.
I remember when I done this maneuver a long time ago. One of the residents had choked on a hamburger and so I did it. The hamburger came right out and it scared him so bad he would never eat hamburger again!!
It was late in the evening when I received a phone call from the Saratoga Hospital. It seems there was a 92 year old lady in need of help and it had to be kept quiet. No one was to know she was with me. They said she had dementia but had been sexually abused for several years. I went to the hospital and picked her up. She was the saddest looking person you can imagine. She had to be about 5’8”and weighed about 110 lbs. It was like skin and bones with long scraggly hair. My heart went out to her and I just gave her a big hug and asked her if she would like to go home with me. She said she would so off we went. I had strict orders about anyone trying to locate her by phone or car so I was a little apprehensive.
I had German Sheppard’s and knew no one could drive in without the dogs barking. I informed Chris and Esther if anyone called we knew nothing.
The information I received about her was very sad. Her husband had died three years before and so she took in a border to help her out. The man she took in was in his early 50’s and he took everything she had. It only took him a few months to get her trust and then he started in on her. He would make out checks, have her sign them and then take her to the bank and have her cash them!! She would give the money to him and there was nothing illegal about it. Sometimes he took her out to eat and she just loved all the attention. Why her family didn’t notice what was going on was beyond me. After about 8 months of this he got so he didn’t let the family in. He would tell them she was sleeping and they left. Then he got her to tell the family she didn’t want them coming to visit anymore and so they left her with him. This woman had a very nice home and beautiful antiques. When her husband died he left her very well off and no bills to pay. The police figured she let him move in because she was lonely. He managed to mortgage her home by having her sign all the papers. During all this time he was also abusing her sexually. The only reason all this came out was because of a UPS driver.
When the UPS driver went to deliver a package he rang the bell. There were small windows beside the door and he glanced in to see if anyone was coming. The lady was on the couch, in a bad position, nude and that was all he needed. He called the police and the rest is history.
Mary had dementia and it was apparent she really didn’t know where she was but she was happy. We had to give her medicine to keep her from getting upset. She would get started on where her husband was and it was very hard. We would tell her he went to the store and she would cry. The best thing we found to help was have her help one of the other ladies. She loved to “fuss” with their hair so we had her doing everyone’s hair for a long time.
When her family was finally told where she was they came to visit. They were so happy to have her out of the house.
Mary lived with us for about a year and then one night she died in her sleep.
I always treasured her memory because it was nice knowing we helped someone who was truly in trouble.
The worst part was the man got away with everything and could not be charged with any crime. The bank foreclosed on the house and Mary lost everything she had.
The good part of Dementia was she never understood what she lost.
Until next time, dear read, have a great day & remember

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing.

LOVE RED

NO NURSING HOME

2008-07-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

I was asked many times why I never ran a nursing home. Once I got started in the business I had thought about it. The only problem I had was the people. How could I give the personal care if I opened a large facility? To my way of thinking if you had more than ten people you started to lose the personal touch. This is what the folks wanted and so I kept the numbers small. In my house we had five bedrooms and five bathrooms. On the far end were my private rooms. The people happiness was my mail concern.
It was about 15 years ago I had a doctor ask me an interesting question. He wanted to know if I was interested in going into a partnership with him. It was to purchase a nursing home about 20 miles away. I could run the place and he would be the main doctor. I asked him about having so many people and he said this is how you make the money. We purchase the business and cut the cost to the bone. Redo the menu and use the cheapest meals you can. Then cut the staff down and you’re on your way to make some serious money!! I think I thought about this for five minutes and told him to forget it. I wasn’t in the business to make money but to care for people. He really had a hard time understanding this. To me it was very simple; keep the residents down and you have plenty of time for personal care.
Then there was the attorney I met who was very interested in having me bring the elderly to him. He offered me a fee for anyone I could send his way. You know, gentle reader, I never called on him again. It was interesting to read a few years later he was disbarred for stealing funds from an elderly gentleman.
I had a lady one time that was really funny. She had arrived about nine o’clock in the evening. It seems she had a dislocated should and was in a brace. The family didn’t want her to stay alone so they brought her to my home. I finally got her settled in and she went to sleep about 11:30. I woke her for breakfast about 8:30 and she wasn’t hungry. I waited about fifteen minutes and tried again. She said she was not going to eat because she was going to die in a few hours. I told her to hang on and left the room. I returned in a few minutes with a long pad and pencil. She said “What in the world are you doing”? “Well, I explained, since you are going to die I need a favor: I am going to make out a list for you because you must be talking to God so you can show him the list”! She actually started laughing and of course she proceeded to get up.
You had to be able to respond with a good line just to get their mind off their problems.
When we had meals ready, if a couple of people weren’t at the table I would go in the living room and say, with a laugh, “Lunch is being served in the main dining room, on the first floor level” Everyone would just laugh about that. Sometimes I think, dear reader, Harold would lag behind just to hear me say it.
I had a lady named Selma who was Jewish. I tried to serve her only the foods she wanted. She never complained and was always so nice. One evening, when she had been with us for a couple of weeks I served pork chops. I had fixed her something else and when she saw the pork chops she said “I would like pork chops also”! I said “You may certainly have one. I thought you didn’t eat pork. She said “I cheat all the time, “and just smiled the nicest smile. It just goes to show you never knew what they would come up with.
Until the next time dear reader, you have a nice day and remember this:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing

Love, Red

ELECTRIC BLANKETS & NO POWER

2008-07-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

It was a very cold and snowy day when Agnes came to my home. She was the fourth person to live with us. Agnes arrived with two suitcases and a couple of bags. She was a tall lady, little on the heavy side with long (I mean long) hair. She was dressed very classy in a suit consisting of skirt, blouse, and jacket. On her feet were stockings and a pair of low heeled pumps. . She also had on a pair of white gloves. Her Doctor had called me looking for a place for her. She had the beginning of dementia and could no longer live alone. She was talking as she came in and she never stopped. Every day she was dressed about the same. In the evening she wanted to wear long negligee but I finally convinced her was not a good idea with men around. Agnes had an answer for everything that went through the house. She had the cure for anything and everything. You could always get a good laugh at some of them; but she meant well. One thing about Agnes that got your attention was her illness. If you had a headache she got one immediately. If you’re back hurt, gentle reader, so did hers. If someone had a pain in their foot you know she did too. The Dr had told me she was a hypochondriac so I was prepared. She was on medicine for high blood pressure and for her heart. Agnes had a “sugar” pill. If she complained too much I would tell her I was going to have to get her a pain pill and she was so happy. When she took this capsule, which was just sugar her pain went away. She was a firm believer in the pill so this really worked out great for me. Agnes always set in a rocking chair filing her finger nails. It seemed like the more she talked the faster she would rock.
Her hair was a huge problem. She couldn’t brush it herself so I did the best I could. She couldn’t stand any heavy brushing and it was a job. I tried to get her to cut her hair but she refused any mention of this. I swear, dear reader, it was almost to her knees. She said she had not had it cut in fifty years and I believed her.
It was early spring when a thunderstorm developed. It was really a severe storm and the weatherman said it would last several hours. There was a lot of thunder and lighting. The folks always got together in the living room. It seemed to make everyone more comfortable to be with each other. The lights had blinked off and on a couple of times and then we lost power. You could literally hear a pin drop. I called Niagara Mohawk and they said power would be off for several hours.
I went into the living room and said very calmly “Everyone has to go to bed. The power will be off but I will be right here.” I figured if they were in bed it was easier to keep them quiet and no one was walking around in the dark. It took a while but I got the folks into their bed except Agnes. She said she just couldn’t go to bed she was in too much pain. I knew of course, gentle reader, she was fine but I said “Agnes, if you will go to bed I will get your special pill for you”! She rocked a few times and then said “Ok and than if you will plug in my electric blanket and turn it up I will go to bed”! Of course you know what I did… I gave her special pill and put her to bed. I than “fooled around” plugging in the blanket and she said “That feels so nice and warm and went to sleep. The power came back on about midnight but no one woke up. The next morning, dear reader, Agnes mentioned how well she slept with the blanket turned up on high!!
One of the best things I ever did in this home was to have an elevator installed. It was quite a job and we really had some interesting happen when people got on and forgot how to get off.
One of the funniest was when Agnes got on the elevator and started yelling for help. She was between floors and wanted to get off so she opened the door. This elevator had a “fail safe” feature and if the door opened it stopped wherever it was. It is hard to explain but there were two doors so she couldn’t get hurt. It took a long time to get her to shut the door so we could get her out. Of course as soon as she was out she got all the attention and she just lapped it right up. You would almost think, dear reader, she had thought of it herself.
To think, gentle reader, this was just the beginning of a long journey. Check in later for the next installment of life in the Miner Home…..
Love Red

WEDDING DRESSES

2008-06-24T15:49:00.000-07:00

“You know, Violet you would look better in my dress”!! I look in the room and there is Violet, with just a slip on and Mary sitting on her bed smiling. Mary says, very happily, “I am helping Violet with a dress for her wedding”!! I said, “I didn’t know Violet was getting married”! Violet speaks up and says” OH!! It is a surprise and no one is supposed to know”. I said “Who is the lucky man?” Than Violet told me how she met him many years ago at the church. She told me how he always liked her and told her someday he would marry her. Now, gentle reader, you must realize, Violet was not the brightest person but she believed in people. She wanted to make sure she looked ok if he should come to visit. Violet had been waiting years for this but to her it was like yesterday. Her face lit up talking about him and she just looked so very happy! It just made me love her all the more. ):>)!! Mary and Violet spent many days just trying on each other’s clothes. It was a big joke to some but I always smile when I remember those two.
They were as different as night and day. I had written about Mary before. She is the lady who was just beautiful for her age and had never married. Violet had never married either but her Father was a minister and she was raised mostly by him. She was very shy around people but after she was with us for a while she was ok with everyone. She just truly believed he was going to arrive.
It was a lot different for Helen and Francis. These two shared a room. I never really had a problem with two women sharing a room but, gentle reader, this was really different. They both wore the same size clothing and Helen was always putting on Francis’s slacks. The first thing you heard was “Helen, you have my slacks on”! Helen replied “No I don’t. I looked and the tag says their mine”. Francis would say,” I want to see”. Helen would show her the tag and ninety percent of the time it was Francis’s pants. Francis wanted her to change immediately and someone had to go with her because by the time she got them off she would forget and put them right back on. When people are diagnosed with dementia it was hard. Some folks were not too bad but others were really a sad case. You just have to have world of patience with them. I think this is where the saying ” patience is a virtue” comes in.
When it came to men sharing a room it could really get interesting. You would never believe how bashful they were with each other. It seemed like one would go to bed early and the other would stay up watching TV. Than when he would go to bed you would hear “Shut the light off I am sleeping”!! I didn’t allow smoking in the house and sure enough one would want to go out for a cigarette. Than it was “I hate the smell of smoke”!!You need to take a bath.””Can someone spray something to get rid of the smell”?
I am sure, gentle reader; you understand how different it was.
I had folks with Dementia, Alzheimer’s, Cancer, Parkinson and many others. They would treat each other with a lot of respect but sometimes they could get angry. There is a huge difference between Dementia and Alzheimer’s. Folks who had Dementia were usually very easy to get to do things. They could sit and watch TV or look at a magazine but with Alzheimer’s it was a whole new ballgame. They normally paced a lot and ask the same thing. When you had to answer the same question 30 or 40 times a day you were glad when your shift was over. I was lucky with the ones I had.
I did have one Alzheimer’s person who really put me thru my paces!!
That is a story for the next time, gentle reader, and so check back in a few days…..
Love, Red

2008-06-17T15:29:00.000-07:00

My sister, Esther, had worked for me for a long time. She only had one bad habit. She was always leaving the keys in her car. My place was back off the road but you never knew what could happen. I told her not to leave the keys in the car but she reminded me that my husband always moved the car. This was true. He would turn her car around so it was easier for her to leave. She really appreciated that when it snowed!!
Jim had been with us about six months. He was a recovering alcoholic and he walked a lot. His daughter came to visit him quite regularly and he was always asking for his car. Her answer was always the same. “Your car is in the garage being repaired”. He would say “Okay but let me know when I can have it”.
One day I was in the living room talking to Pat when Jim came walking in. He was so happy!! He was holding a key ring in his hand and he said “Look Esther!! I found your car keys for you!! “I can’t find mine but at least I found yours “I looked in your car and they were just hanging there”! Of course, dear reader, we started laughing but it wasn’t funny. What if he actually started the car?
Then there was Ed. He was in his eighties when he came. He was slowly going blind and required a lot of care. There were about four different eye drops he had to have at different times during the day. You never heard him complain about the eye drops but he did complain about his girl friend. It seems they had been together for many years. He lived in a mobile home park and she lived across the road in a house. He kept the mobile home up but stayed with her most of the time. He had a car and used it to go the Doctors until his eyes got bad. Her health was not too good either. Her family decided Ed needed to leave so their Mother would stop trying to help him. I guessed from what was said he was not liked at all. This was kind of hard for me to take. I felt like she should have a say in this, her mind was fine, but the family made the decision. Ed really enjoyed sitting out by the in ground pool. He knew where the lines were and stayed in his chair. One day he wanted to go out and sit in the sun so I agreed. I took him to his chair and told him he could stay for half an hour and then I would be back. It would be time for his eye drops. About half an hour later I went back and said “OK Ed, I have your eye drops for you”. He replied, “Don’t worry, I already used them”. I said “What are you talking about “?
He said” They are right there where you left them”. I said “Ed, I didn’t leave anything here”. I glanced at the table and there was a small bottle of stuff you used to test the pool water. I ran for the house and yelled” Call the Emergency Squad” to Chris and grabbed a glass of water and ran back to the pool. I tipped Ed’s head back and poured the water in his eyes. The Emergency Squad arrived and rushed him to the hospital. I was right behind them. I am telling you, gentle reader, my heart was in my mouth. I couldn’t believe I had not checked the table. He never put eye drops in his eyes; we always did that for him. The end result was he was OK but I am telling you it never happened twice!! It was such a simple thing but just thinking what could have happened was terrible.
Well, dear reader that is it for now but I remember when Agnes arrived, in style…..
Love, Red

LOSINMG JEWELERY

2008-06-11T15:02:00.000-07:00

I had said in one of my previous blogs I didn’t have rules and regulations in my home. I was a little misleading in this statement gentle reader, but for a good reason.
If someone came who had rings or expensive jewelery I was very explicit with the families. I would not be responsible if the jewelry came up missing. Everyone understood that. Most folks took the expensive items home. I was very fortunate because in thirty years nothing ever came up missing.
It was on a Tuesday when the call came. The hospital had a lady looking for a place. Her name was Caroline and she was on oxygen all the time. She seemed to think the world owed her a living and could be rather mean to the other folks at times. She had some nice earrings which she wore all the time. She also had what looked like a very expensive ring. I explained to her that the ring she was wearing should be in a safe deposit box. She insisted she had no relatives just a very nice friend named Truman who lived in Scotia. She said he had Power of Attorney in case anything happened and he would get the ring.
I really learned a lot from her. The reason she was so mean at times was because she was very depressed and no one ever came to see her. The way this came about was really interesting. She was always sending letters to Truman and I didn’t give it a second thought. I thought it was nice she a least had one friend.
One morning Kate, one of my employees, and I were just discussing lunch when there was a loud knock on the door. This was surprising because no one ever knocked, they would just come in. I opened the door and this gentleman said,” I am here to see Caroline immediately because this is what I received in the mail this morning”!! He handed me a letter she had sent him and when you opened it up it read, in huge letters “I HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED”!! PLEASE COME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS OR CALL THE POLICE”!! I had to read this twice and then I said “I will take you to her room but she is fine”.
I proceeded to take him to her room and she was so happy to see him. She told him it was a joke just to get him to come and visit. He apologized to me. I told him not to worry and I needed to talk to him privately before he left. He said he would look me up. It was about forty minutes later and he came into the kitchen.
He said he was sorry about what she pulled and gave me a brief description of her life. She really had an abusive husband and resented anyone who was happy. I explained I was concerned about the expensive ring she was wearing. I didn’t want the responsibility of having it lost. I wanted him to take the ring with him. He went back to her room and talked to her again. When he returned her told us the ring was a fake. The real one was in the bank and the one she had on was probably worth about fifty dollars!! I was so relieved about that. Of course we never told her we knew but when you think of what could have happened it was scary.
It was after that we had an understanding with anyone who had anything of value.
When you have folks who are forgetful you really have to be careful. They not only lose clothes: or forget where their room is but I had one lady who forget where she put her teeth!! I am telling you dear reader; it was always interesting to see what would happen at Miner’s in one day.
Love, Red

2008-06-09T09:04:00.000-07:00

You must realize that to all the folks who lived in this house it was their home. I tried not to have rules and regulations because they needed to know it was home. If they wanted to come to the breakfast table in their p j’s with a housecoat on, it was okay. If they wanted to take a nap that was fine. To my way of thinking rules and regulations were a part of a nursing home and I didn’t have a nursing home. I had a Home for the Elderly.
Of course I had problems with the state over this. When I first started my business I was very proud of what I done. Anyone who lived in my home received the best care I could give. When I made the beds I put draw sheets on so if someone wet to bed I could change it easily. By putting draw sheets on also helped the emergency squad when they responded. If a person was in bed it was much easier to move the person by lifting with the draw sheets. I know this sounds boring, dear reader, but bear with me for a minute.
When I first started, remember, I wasn’t planning on having this business but here I was taking care of the elderly. I never applied for a license because it never occurred to me I needed one for this.
One day there was a knock on the door and when I opened the door a gentleman said “I am Mr. Smith with the NY State Department of Aging and we need to inspect your home”. I said “That is fine with me, just come right in”. Well, gentle reader, he did and it was terrible. I showed him the rooms and he immediately pulled back the covers and wanted to know what the draw sheets were for. I explained why I had them and he said “You are not supposed to have people who are incontinent”!! I said “I didn’t know that and why couldn’t I have them”. He said” Only a licensed facility can care for them”. I asked about a license and he said for me to have a license I could only have four people. Well, gentle reader, I had five people and how could I send someone away?? Was I supposed to draw straws? He took down everyone’s name and said I would be hearing from the state. I was just sick!! I mean I was really sick. I couldn’t sleep and I think I was inhaling cigarettes worse than I ever had before. I loved these people and now someone was going to make me move them out. It just wasn’t right. I called a dear friend and she said “Not to worry. They won’t make anyone leave because there is no room for them anywhere.” She said “You probably won’t even hear from them for a long time.”
About two months later I received a letter from the state and it said I was going to be inspected again. I called the person who signed the letter and asked when the inspection was going to be. She said within thirty days. I can’t begin to tell you how upset I was. I cleaned and cleaned and than I did it all over again. I just wanted everything to be OK. I tried to keep the smile in place but it was not easy. What if they “shut me down??” What would happen to my people? The biggest fear was telling me to move someone out. I just could not do that.
My husband and daughter were very helpful by encouraging me to stop all the worrying. My daughter was a huge help by doing a lot of the work but it is not easy to just quit worrying.
The thirty days passed and no one showed up. I got a little bit angry to think they could just do these things and then drop it. I waited five more days and I called them!! I talked to the person who signed the letter and she said they would be here within a week.
The next morning about 10:00 AM they showed up. There were four people and they came in, walked thru the rooms said everything was ok,. I asked about having too many people and she replied, “I only see four people here so your fine”!! I think I went into complete shock. I guess it shows that some of them really have a heart.
Of course all the people were happy but they really had no idea how close they came to being made to move!!
Sometimes ignorance is bliss, right……….(:<)!!!

Love, Red

LOOKING FOR STEVE

2008-06-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful day that day. It looked like we had a full schedule for the day ahead. I was going to work with my sister, Esther, until noon and then Chris was coming in for the 12:00PM - 8:00PM shift.
Chris had worked for me for many years and was a great person. She was so friendly and easy going. All of the people thought she was great.
On this day we had Dr. Finger coming to do everyone’s feet. This always took a good hour and sometimes longer. I always get a laugh with his name but it is true. He is one of the nicest foot doctors I have ever had the pleasure of working with. Just simply great!! He always took his time and spoke to everyone. It made them feel good and proud that he didn’t hurry and always made sure he didn’t hurt anyone. On the day he was due to show up everyone had to have their feet soaked. It was very important and the folks loved every bit of it. I always made a big production of this by telling someone their feet smelled. The other line was “How long have you been wearing these socks??” or “Why have you got socks with holes- do you think we could throw them away?? It was always a very happy day for the doctor and the people.
The only person who wasn’t happy was Steve. Steve had Alzheimer’s. It was very hard to get him to sit still for any length of time so we always waited until the doctor showed up before we started soaking his feet. This seemed to work pretty well. Steve had come to live with me when his wife had a heart attack. The story she told the doctor was –she fell down the stairs and Steve wasn’t home. When he came home she hollered and hollered for him to help her but he said he was fixing dinner and to be quiet. She was finally able to pull herself across the room and got the phone and called 911. When the first responders came they had a hard time with Steve. He wasn’t going to let them in but he finally did. They said she had to go to the hospital and she said Steve had to go also; he couldn’t be left alone. They took both of them to the hospital and he sat by her bed all night and slept. The next day the Dr. Jolly called me. He said’ I have a patient here with a bad heart and her husband has Alzheimer’s and is sitting with her. Can you come and help her?” I went right to the hospital. When I arrived in the room I said very quietly, “Good Morning Mrs. White. I have a Home for the Elderly. Your doctor told me your husband needed a place to stay so I thought he could go with me.” She was exhausted but she replied “I don’t think he will go with you. He never leaves me”. I turned around and with a big smile on my face, in my best voice said “Hi Steve! I wonder if you would like to go get a cup of coffee and a doughnut with me.”He said “I sure would but I don’t have a coat”. I said, don’t you worry about a coat, I have my van right outside the door and the heater is on. “Let’s go now and come back later”. He got right up and I said to Mrs. White “I will be back in an hour and you get some sleep.” I took Steve to my home and when we got inside my sister, Esther, was waiting. I had called her on the phone and prepared her for Steve. She said” Hi Steve, I got a cup of coffee and a fresh donut for you”! He sat right down just as happy as a clam. I went back to the hospital and told Mrs. White where her husband was. She couldn’t believe he was happy. She was so relieved to know he was going to be ok and she went to sleep. She was in the hospital for almost a month but Steve was fine with us. It took a lot of patience just to keep him happy but we all tried. Mrs. White said he had been a stock broker all his life so we figured out a plan. If he started to pace I would tell him to look up some stock and he would sit down and start reading the stock market. Steve was a perfect gentleman at all times. There was a chair in the living room he always called ‘his chair’. This was typical of all of the family. Each one had their own chair. On this day Esther had taken the cover off his chair and washed it. Steve wouldn’t sit down and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong. He wasn’t interested in the stock market or anything else, just kept pacing. Then came the dawn!! Esther got the cover back on the chair and he sat right down. That is when we realized with an Alzheimer person you couldn’t change anything
Dr. Finger was supposed to be there at 4:00 but he was late. It was almost 4:30 and I was a little nervous because we ate at 5:00 and it made it a little awkward if we got off schedule. It always took the doctor a good hour to do everyone and he loved to talk. Don’t get me wrong, gentle reader, but when I say he liked talking…I meant he really liked talking.
Steve was really starting to get upset. He had soaked his feet and was ready for the doctor. Dr. Finger finally arrived and he did Steve first. Dr. Finger started on the rest of the folks and everything went smoothly. By the time we were done it was 5:30 and everyone was starved. Dinner was uneventful and by 6:30 they were all watching the news.
I left and was in the bedroom when Chris called and said “I can’t find Steve. I have looked everywhere and he is not here.”I immediately started looking. He never went off the porch so I went through all the bedrooms and no Steve!!! I said to Chris” He has to be here somewhere so we will look again!!” Chris went one way and I went the other. I looked in Pat’s room, no luck, in Bob’s room, no luck, in Selma’s room, no luck, in Jim’s room but Jim was sleeping so I met Chris back in the dining room. She is pretty upset by now and so am I. She said “What are we going to do??!!” I said “I am going to call 911 because this is serious”!! Just as I finished saying that I glance around the room at the folks watching TV and THERE SAT JIM!! How could Jim be watching the news if he was sleeping? I go back to Jim’s room and guess what?? Steve is sleeping in Jim’s bed. We had washed bedspreads and Chris put Steve’s on Jim’s bed. Steve saw the bedspread and he figured it was his bed so he went to bed. I won’t tell you how relieved I was and happy but I will tell you this. We never changed the bedspread or the cover on Steve’ things again!! I had to buy double of these things so when they were washed he still had one on the bed and chair. That is how important these items were to a person with Alzheimers.
Steve really helped me understand what a horrible disease Alzheimer’s is. You could not change anything in his room; the colors had to stay the same. He didn’t like any murder stories on TV and some of the soap operas upset him. He loved his wife dearly and we always talked about her to him. We would make it a point to use her name so he would not forget it. Dr. Jolly was the best doctor for figuring out his medicine. I took Steve to see him many times and Dr. Jolly was able to get him on medicines to help with the pacing. A few months later I got another person with this same thing and by than I knew what to expect.
Well, gentle reader, you have a great day because you sure deserve it!!!!
Love Red

WHAT'S FOR DINNER

2008-05-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

It was a really beautiful day when things started going wrong. One of the aides had called in sick so I was on my own. Now you know, gentle reader, I can handle anything going through my home. Like Dr. Pitkin always said “You just wing it and your fine”! We were supposed to have waffles for breakfast but the waffle machine broke and from then on it was downhill! I offered French toast but Harold didn’t want French toast so I said pancakes. Pete didn’t want any pancakes and Pat said she would like an omelet. I just kept smiling and talking so they wouldn’t notice it was taking a long time for the food to appear. I was doing great until Barry started pounding on his table in his room. Barry had Huntington’s disease and always stayed in his room. I went in and told him breakfast was coming and just be patient. He smiled and said he would wait. You just felt like giving him a big hug—so I did. I finally got everyone what they wanted for breakfast and they were happy. Harold thought he would go for a short walk and I reminded him not to go past the end of the driveway. Them Pat said she wanted a shower. I asked if she could wait because I didn’t want to try to do that without another person there. She was not too happy because her husband was coming to visit. I told her we would wash her up and she would be beautiful. She liked that. Selma decided she wanted to watch something different on TV so now we have a small disagreement going. Sam said he wanted the TV left where it was. I reminded him he had a TV in his room but he said he didn’t want to watch TV alone. I said Ok I will take Selma in your room and she can watch her program. He thought that was just great and he would go and watch with her! I tell you dear reader; they were like a bunch of little kids. Then I noticed Harold wasn’t back from his walk. I hurried outdoors and got on the golf cart to go to the end of the driveway. I couldn’t see Harold and I got a terrible feeling. I looked down the road and ..no Harold. I wnet back to the house and parked the gof cart—I was going to call 911 and here comes Harold out oif the garage! He said he found a nice place to sit out there and it was nice and quiet. Then he heard me and figured he better let me know where he was!
We made it thru lunch fine and most of them went to take a nap. I received a call from the county and they were looking for a room. You know the answer to that one. I told Pat she was going to have a roommate for a few days and she was ok with that. All the people knew me and they always shared things. It was such a great feeling to be able to help other people. I must say my people were never selfish when it came to having another person move in.
Carol, from the county, came with a lady named Mary. It seems Mary’s husband had died and the family didn’t want her to be alone. Mary was very nice, a little forgetful and she used a walker. Everyone spoke to her and told her they were happy to have her with us.
Now we have a problem because I was so busy getting the room ready I forgot about dinner. I opened the freezer door and thought “Thank Heavens I bought the frozen lasagna last week”! I turned the oven on to preheat and went and checked. Everyone wanted lasagna so I figured we were golden. I should have known better, dear reader, but it had been a long day.
Pat’s husband, Kenny had arrived and he loved to talk. I mean he lived to talk. He was a very nice man but you know the type—you just couldn’t quite him down. He knew we were going to have lasagna and hinted he really liked it and before you knew it I told him to stay for dinner. Of course he was really happy. I got the table set and all the medicine done and checked the time. We had about five minutes so I told everyone they could go to the table. They all did and took their medicine. I grabbed the pot holders and opened the oven door to take the lasagna out and there was nothing there!! I really had to blink twice, dear reader, because I couldn’t figure out where the lasagna was. I turned around and looked and it was still on the counter—I never put it in the oven. I started laughing because it was funny but I also realized I had a bunch of hungry people here waiting to eat!!!After I explained what happened they laughed also. I said the fastest thing I could do was make pancakes or order a pizza. We ended up with pancakes for dinner and believe it or not they were all happy. Pat’s husband stayed for the pancakes and said when he left to let him know when we were having the lasagna he would be back!!!
I was really glad when I got everyone settled for the night, dear reader. I was really tired. I had just set down for my usual cup of coffee and Barry called me. I went to see what was going on and he wanted to know if he could have pancakes for breakfast because they sure tasted good!! I told him he could but the rest of the crew was having their regular breakfast. He said ok to that and was sleeping in five minutes. Barry was really special and we all spoiled him.
That was a busy day at my home but it was a great feeling to know everyone was well and happy and it looked like it was going to be a good night. The only comment I made to the aide who called in sick was “I have rules here you know. If you want to be sick you ask and I will let you know if we have time for that”. I sure never had time to be sick!!!
This was about the time we lost Steve. That is my next one…..
Love, Red

LOST & ALONE

2008-05-21T16:31:00.000-07:00

I was on my way to the mall to get my nails done. I had a doctor’s appointment and I always tried to look my best. Even after all these years I am still not sure what my best is but I keep trying. I was running late so I was trying to hurry. I walked into the mall and the first thing I see is a little elderly lady just crying! I asked if I could help and she replied,” Please help me find my daughter. I lost her”! I asked “Where was your daughter going”? She replied “She was going to get her watch fixed in the store”. I said “Do you know which store she was going to”? She said"No, she told me to stay here but she didn’t come back”! By now the lady was really upset and I was trying to get her to stop crying. I saw a security guard walking by and yelled to him. He came over and I explained what was going on. He asked the lady what her daughter was wearing and said he would go look for her. While he was looking the lady asked if I could take her home. She said “I have enough money to pay you and opened her purse”! I said “No, I don’t want your money and you should not show people your money”. She replied “I keep my money in my pocketbook and my jewelry to”! By now the security guard is back and he was not able to find the daughter. I told him about her money and jewelry. He asked her if she would recognize her daughters car if we took her for a ride in the parking lot. She thought she would so off we went. He took her all over the parking lot but she did not recognize any of the cars. Than the lady remembered her daughter had gone to the doctor’s office and she was supposed to wait for her in the mall. She told the security guard she was eighty four years old. When she mentioned the doctor’s name I recognized it immediately. I told the security guard and he said for me to go ahead and call. I called the doctor’s office and explained what was going on. The receptionist said the lady was there and put her on the phone. I told her who I was and I was at the Security Office in the mall with her Mother who was very upset and lost. I won’t go into what all the lady told me but the result was I was supposed to take her Mother back where I found her and she would pick her up in an hour. I had no business interfering in family problems! Of course I immediately took her back and dropped her off, right?? Now you know dear reader, I would never do that. I just called Adult Protective Services and reported the whole thing. They sent a person over to take the lady home and find out what was going on. It seems this woman would take her Mother to the mall and leave her while she was out and about. Sometimes this was for several hours. They figure this lady I found had a small stroke and just could not remember what she was supposed to do.
The thing I worry about is what could have happened if the wrong person showed up. There are so many places to turn for help with the elderly. She could have hired help for a couple of hours or taken her to a day care for seniors.She could have called The Office for the Aging and asked for help. It amazes me how selfish people are with their older relatives.
Of course I never did get my nails done but, would you believe the doctor never noticed?
On an entirely different subject I wonder, gentle reader, how many people really bother reading my blogs? I need to ask a favor of all of you, please. If you read these blogs would you leave me a comment, good, bad or otherwise. If I know someone reads this than I feel more like doing the blogs.
Thanks to all and will write more tomorrow……
Love Red

WORKING IS GREAT!!!

2008-05-18T17:58:00.000-07:00

There must be something wrong with me. I just came home from work and I feel so fine it is sinful. Maybe it is because I only worked for an hour?? I will try to explain this.
About a month ago I took my sister-in-law to the Dr’s office. While she was inside seeing the Doctor I sat in the waiting room and got to talking to a lady in a wheel chair. This lady was very nice and explained she had fallen and injured herself and was having trouble getting things done. She asked me for my name & phone number so I gave it to her. Did I mention she was elderly? Now you know, gentle reader, I have a soft spot for elderly people. Anyway I I was surprised when I received a call from her brother asking me if I could provide some assistance. Of course I said I would be glad to. I went to the home and gave the lady a full bath. I wasn’t able to do her hair because she had trouble standing and I was afraid I would drop her. She was so thrilled just to have a real good bath and lotion—said she felt like new! Of course I felt good about the whole thing. Than we made arrangements to have me come every week. I went a couple more times and her brother told me some great news. Her therapist said she was doing much better and didn’t seem to be as depressed as she had been previously. Than we come to Mothers Day. My Mother died several years ago so it is a quiet time for me. I got to thinking about Edith and so I called and made arrangements to take her to get her hair and nails done and it would be my treat for Mothers Day. When I picked her up to take her she couldn't believe it. Her daughter, who was here visiting from Georgia, went with us. Fran did her hair and it took awhile because Edith had a terrible build up in her hair. Edith has psoriasis and that takes a special shampoo and treatment. Than Sue did her nails and she really felt like a fabulous. Then I took her home and she was so happy. Today was the day for a bath so I went to the house and gave her a nice bath and lots of lotion. She had a plastic cover on her bed so if she had an ‘accident’ at night the bed wouldn’t get wet. I told her the plastic sheet was not good to sleep on. She said that was all they had so I made a fast trip to the drug store and got her a pad. This only took about a half an hour so it was no big deal but to her it just “put the icing on the cake” is what she said.
I guess this is where the old saying—it is better to give than to receive---comes from. How true it is. I miss running the Home for the Elderly. There was always something going on and it was such a great job. How many
When you can do something for another person and not expect anything in return is what really counts in this world. Most of the time everyone is just too busy and really don’t want to be bothered. I sure hope I don’t get this way.
A couple of months ago I was working in the hospital for a lady. My shift was from ten at night until eight in the morning. I had books to read and a MP3 player for movies so I was awake all the time. In the same room was another lady (elderly) (does this sound familiar). This lady was having a very hard time moving in bed. Carolyn, my lady, was sleeping soundly. I asked the other lady if I could help. She wanted the nurse so I turned on her light for her. It took about 10 minutes for anyone to come. The lady said she wanted to be turned over on her side. The aide replied they were too busy to cater to people and not to call unless it was important! Then she turns to me and said “If she bothers you just ignore her”. “She is just trying to get attention”. The aide leaves and I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I put Carolyn’s light on. When another aide came I asked for the supervisor and reported the whole thing. Then I helped the nurse turn the other lady to a more comfortable position. I could have said a lot more but for what purpose. The aide was rude and didn’t care and no amount of my talking was going to change her.
That reminds me of the lady I met in the mall crying……..
Love Ruth

DO NOT RESUCIATATE DNR

2008-05-13T15:58:00.000-07:00

I was recently asked my opinion of DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) orders. This is not an easy thing for anyone to deal with. If you say you want one than you must choose someone who will carry this out. If a person makes the choice it means they know what they want from life. Most of the people I talk to in my home wanted a DNR order issued. If I needed to call 911 when the First Responders came I would tell them whether or not there was a DNR orderfor that person.
A few years ago I received a phone call from a dear friend, Pat. She just wanted me to know she was in the Albany Medical Hospital and due to have a very serious operation. She said this in the same tone you would say “I am going to the store”!!Now, dear reader, I am sure you’re wondering how can a dear friend be in this situation and I not know of it. Well, Pat, my dear friend and I would always call one another if there was a serious problem. Sometimes it would be a few weeks when we didn’t hear from each other but no matter, when we needed to talk we could find each other. It was the type of friendship you could say anything to each other and no offense was ever taken. There are not many folks who can do this so I have always cherished this friendship.
She thought I should know she had just signed a Health Care Proxy and named me as the executor!!! I left for the Albany Medical within half an hour. We talked about her operation, which was life threatening, and what I needed to know. I accepted the job of executor and agreed to do as she wished. I thought this would be easy. WOW!! Was I in for a surprise? You better believe it, gentle reader, and it was going to be a big surprise.
She went into surgery and came out to the Intensive Care Unit. For the first few hours everything was ok and then things started to change. It got to the critical point where she didn’t know me, or her family. The doctor thought she might have had a stroke and as to the recovery he wasn’t sure what would happen. Over the next two days it was getting bad. I tried talking to her doctor but didn’t get any good news. She might be a vegetable if things didn’t improve. She had made it clear she never wanted to live if she was bed-ridden or not in her right mind. Now came the decision time. I was frantic!! This was my best friend and how could I say remove everything???? So I came home and called Dr. Pitkin. Where would I be without this Dr.?? I explained everything and asked what he thought. He said to wait another 24 hours and then call him if she had not improved. So I waited and by the next day she opened her eyes and said “Hi Ruth, where is my sister”? I was so happy I cried. Needless to say from then on she recovered. Now I know what being an executor of a Health Care Proxy is. It is the hardest job I know.
This is such an important issue for everyone because you never know when anything can go wrong and you are on life support. No one wants to think it will happen but it does. Then you have to make sure what you want and who makes the decision. If you do not have a Health Care Proxy already, dear reader, please consider having one done, the sooner, the better.
Until the next time, stop and take a break, call a friend or cheer someone up ………
Love Red

KEEP SMILING!!

2008-05-10T17:14:00.000-07:00

I started to write about Larry in my last blog. Larry had to have the biggest smile I ever saw!! Even when I got the point of exasperation with him he would just smile and say, very softly, “I didn’t mean it”!!
Larry was 83 when his daughter-in-law brought him to my home. She had told me he had slight dementia and as long as he took his medicine he would be OK. She said they lived in a mobile home with two small children and it was just too much for the family. She brought him on a sunny day and when he came in the door he had a huge smile. He didn’t have many clothes with him so I called Sister Lauren for help. The daughter-in-law, Nancy, only stayed about half an hour and she was gone. She said to call if we needed anything and she would be back to visit. Where have I heard this before?? I am telling you, dear reader, I knew when she left I had a problem. She had left his medicine and the instructions for it. I discovered within two days why she didn’t want him. He was on heavy doses of Haldol which just drugged him up. It was hard to get him to do anything---even take a bath. He would take his medicine and then sit down and sleep. I did not want my people sleeping all the time. I never believed in drugging the folks just to keep everyone quiet. Larry wore depends and when he had an “accident” he would go in his room, take them off and hide the wet Depends in somebody’s drawer. This created all kinds of problems and he just didn’t seem to understand.
I called his doctor and we discussed the medicine. I told him I wanted the Hadol stopped and he agreed. Within three days you could see a huge change in Larry. He smiled all the time but he wanted to be in the kitchen with the aide. Sarah was a very pretty female and Larry just loved to be around her. She finally got him to understand there was a line in the floor and he had to stay on the other side. It was funny dear reader because all you had to do was point to the line and there was Larry with this big smile saying “I see the line”!
There was a day when Larry didn’t smile much. I had wanted new carpeting for quite some time and my dear friend, also named Larry, came to install the carpeting. Well dear reader, it was a total mess. I had tried to empty the rooms for him and everyone was very understanding except Larry. I had breakfast served on the outdoor patio and he was not going outdoors to eat!! So I fixed him a place inside. He started following my friend Larry around and was really getting in the way. Of course my friend never complained but I knew we had to do something. It was almost lunch time and Sarah came to work. She got the outside table ready and got Larry to help her. Than when everyone was outside eating (including Larry) I locked the doors so he couldn’t get it. Well, I am telling you this is the only time I ever saw him mad. He was really upset and angry so I let him in and we just tried to work around him. It took some doing and a lot of patience but we managed. I am telling you, dear reader, even Larry, the carpet man, was smiling!!! When it was all done Larry, my resident, said “I have to go take a nap now I am so tired of helping”!!!
When other people got visitors you could see Larry looking out the window and you knew he wanted to see his family. That was one of the sad times. In all the time Larry was with us, about 2 years, Nancy came to see him once a month. That was to pay his rent. . His son was “just so busy” but he sent his love!!! Than the day came Nancy said they were going to take Larry back home because he had no money left. It seems the family thought if they bought a house with his money they could all live together. I felt terrible about this and Larry didn’t understand why he had to leave. The other people really got upset and depressed because Larry was one of the family now. I heard from his doctor later that Nancy had him put back on Haldol and he was really in rough shape. He died within a year of leaving our home. The one thing I will always remember about Larry is the way his face would light up and the big smile whenever he saw Sarah!!!
It was later in the day when I got the urgent phone call about a DNR order. I will save this story for the next time gentle reader!!
Love Red

WINDS of CHANGE

2008-05-01T17:43:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not I heard the wind blowing. That meant a change was coming. I had no idea what a change it was bringing that night. I also noticed there was a full moon on this night. I know a lot of folks don’t believe in this but I am telling you when a full moon appears people with mental problems are really affected!!I I will give you credit, dear reader, I never believed it either until Bob came.
I had mentioned Bob before. He is the WW2 veteran who was a prisoner on the Burma Road death march. He was held prisoner and they cut the bottom of his feet so he couldn’t run. When he returned to the states after the war he was placed in the Veterans Hospital and he lived there for years. They determined his mental condition would not allow him to live independtly. He was diagnosed as a manic depressive schizophrenic. When he was in his 60’s he came to live with us. He was in the hospital and his sister called to see if I could take him. I went to pick him up and discovered I was really going to have my hands full. While riding in my car from the hospital he threatened to jump out of the car if I didn’t take him to see his attorney IMMEDIATELY!! He had his hand on the door handle and I knew he was serious. I got him quieted down by telling him the attorney was on vacation and would be back next week. That worked for a while. When we got home I showed him his room and he seemed happy. He wanted six glasses of water, lukewarm, placed on his dresser. I did this right away and this was a standard thing and no one was allowed to touch the. He kept this up until the day he died. I had placed a metal wardrobe in his room for clothes and he put everythiung he had away. He opened the doors on this so many times he drove Emily crazy. She had the room next to his. I said “Bob, why are you opening these doors all the time.” He said “I have to make sure no one takes my clothes”!! I said “No one will take anything while you’re here; Bob so please keep them closed”. He replied “ I don’t trust anyone but I will try to leave them alone”. It wasn’t five minutes later and you could hear him opening the doors!! I said, Bob, Your making too much noise and you need to stop this immediately”!! He said “I am not making any noise”!! That is when I realized he couldn’t hear well. The next day I took him to the Veterans Hospital in Albany and he was seen by a specialist. The Dr. cleaned his ears out and one of the first things he said was “Why are you talking so loud”?? When he got home he opened up the closet door to put his coat away and then said, very seriously, “Boy!! That is really noisy”!! He quieted down quite a bit after that. When Dr. Pitkin came to see him he explained about all the medicine Bob took and said how important it was for him to be on this. He was on Lithium and Thorazine. He didn’t like taking medicine but he would take it, sometimes very slowly. Then one day I noticed he was acting very differently. Not like him at all. No matter what anyone said he would argue and when he did it was “in your face” type with a voice slightly raised. I suspected he was off his medicine. I checked his room, closet, pockets and everyplace you could think of. I couldn’t find anything. Of course he wouldn’t let me search him so I figured out a plan.
I told him he had to go to the hospital for a checkup. He said Ok so he got in the car. I drove him to the Corinth Hospital where I knew Vic (PA) was working. I left Bob in the car and went in and told Vic what was going on. Then I brought Bob in. Vic told Bob to empty his pockets first. Bob did so immediately. One thing about Bob was he was afraid of authority and if told to do something he did. Guess what was in his pockets!!!!He had over 40 pills all mixed up. Vic said, Bob, what are all these pills for”? Bob said, She gives me them and I don’t think I need them so I put them away”. Vic said, very sternly, “Bob you have to take them every day or go back to the hospital”. Bob replied, raising his voice a little “I am never going back to the hospital to live”!!
Vic said, very calmly “Then you go home and take your medicine and we will forget about this”! When we got back home that evening I noticed the wind had died down to just a breeze!! Needless to say Bob started taking his medicine again and things started getting back to normal. I was never sure what normal was at our home but it sure was quiet for a while. There was a few times later over the years when he would quit taking his medicine but by then I could get him to the VA Hospital. They would put him in a “lock down” ward for thirty days and then start his medicine back up. I would always go get him of course.
Dear reader you will find this very interesting. Dr. Pitkin stopped at the house one day to show me an article he found in a magazine. Lithium was one of the main ingredients put in Cokes for many years in the 1920”s!! Do you think this had anything to do with the “Roaring Twenties”??? It really makes you smile when you think about it, gentle reader.
Speaking of smiling I remember Larry and ……..
Love Red

THE CUCKOO'S NEST

2008-04-25T16:27:00.000-07:00

I read a newspaper article about the movie “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and I had to laugh at the memory of this. It is ironic that when you see something that really made you laugh hard once you will do the same thing years later when you see this again.
It had been a hectic day at the house. I had to go grocery shopping and I really didn’t like to. It would take three to four hours to do all of it. I would usually fill six or seven grocery carts. I would fill one, take it to the front of the store, fill another and do the same until I was done. When they saw me in the grocery store they were kind enough to open a aisle for me, imagine that, dear reader!!When you think about it grocery shopping is WORK. You load the cart, unload on the counter, load in the truck, and unload the groceries, carrying them in the house!!!
I had groceries all over, on the floor, table, counter, and any place that was empty. Of course everyone wanted to help. I told them I had to do it myself so I would know where everything was—and of course they believed me. (I never knew where anything was)!!
I finally got all of them put away and had just sat down to have a cup of coffee when Emily asked for me. She didn’t feel good and was having severe pains in her side. I tried to get her comfortable and told her I would call the doctor. I headed for the phone and got stopped by Bob. He said “I just broke a glass and I need a broom”. I told him “Wait just a minute, Bob, and I will take care of it. You go sit down”. Bob said “I am not waiting, I need a broom NOW” Bob could really get upset, especially if he was off his medicine. I grabbed a broom and got the worst up and then told him “Don’t move”!!! I grabbed the phone and called Dr. Pitkin.
When Dr. Pitkin answered I said”Doc I hate to bother you but I have a problem with Emily”. I hear Dr. Pitkin laughing hard and then he said”We just finished watching a movie “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest and it reminded me of your place!!! I hadn’t seen the movie so I just said, “Well it must have been good”! He listened to what was wrong with Emily and of course came right to the house. He was still grinning broadly when he came in. We went to Emily’s room so he could check her out.
The end result was she had diverticulitis. He ordered some medicine for her and started to leave. Bob stopped him to tell him about the glass. He just wanted Doc to know he was OK. In Bob’s eyes Dr. Pitkin was his dearest friend and I am certain Doc really liked him. I finally got to see the movie and I must say, dear reader, it sure fit my place. I will always laugh when I see or hear about it. Isn’t it great to have such wonderful memories of days gone by? It is just like the wind.
When the wind blows it always brings changes and speaking of changes do you remember when the wind was blowing hard and …..
Love Red

DISCRIMINATION OF MEDICARE

2008-04-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

I recently had to call a Doctor. I was having a skin problem and so I asked a few people who would be a good Dermatologist to see. The one recommended the most was too busy so I called another one. When I asked for an appointment the receptionist asked what insurance I had. I replied “I have Medicare and “, she stopped me immediately and said “The Doctor doesn’t accept Medicare!” I said “I didn’t say Medicaid I said Medicare because I am past 65”. She replied" I know you said Medicare but the Doctor does not accept that”. I asked “What is the problem with Medicare since you have to have it if you’re over 65?” She said" the Doctor made the rules and I follow them”. I said" this is discrimination of the elderly and I wonder where he took his Hippocratic Oath?” She answered that by hanging up on me. I was just furious. I have never heard of any doctor doing this. I made several calls around the area and no one else had but one receptionist said she had heard of it in Albany.
I remember when the great Dr. Pitkin made calls at my house for a lot of my people. The many times he said” This is just a social call” or else “I was passing by” I never heard of him refusing anyone medical attention. If they had Medicare or Medicaid he treated everyone alike. I also remember Dr. Vinicor doing the same thing with any of my residents. There was one thing that Dr. Vinicor did and I remember this with a smile.
When there was a holiday, Thanksgiving or Christmas, I baked a lot. It was nothing, dear reader, for me to bake 10 or 15 pies for the folks to enjoy. I would spend the day just baking. When Kate came to work at 4:00 PM the kitchen was a mess!! She took over cleaning everything while we set the pies out to cool. One day, in the middle of all this, one of my people became ill. I had about 6 apple pies done and was just starting the rhubarb pies, so I stopped and called Dr. Vinicor. He said he would be there shortly. He arrived and was amazed at all the pies sitting on the table. He went ahead and took care of the person and started to put his coat on. He was telling me how Alice, his wife, liked homemade pie and so as he passed by the table, heading for the door, he picked up an apple pie and said” Thanks so much for the pie and I will tell Alice who made it.” I had to laugh but believe me it made me happy to know Alice would like that pie!!
I also remember when I had another lady named Mary. She was in the Saratoga hospital with a very bad bed sore. She came to live with us in April. She really brightened the place up because she loved to sing. She enjoyed songs from the 40’s and what a beautiful voice. During her earlier years she was a senior editor of Collier’s magazine. She had broken her hip and had to have surgery. For some reason she developed a sore that would not heal. If you sang a sentence of a song she would finish it for you. I was never able to get the best of her with any song. Dr. Pitkin came to see her a lot and he called in Dr. Maningas once to help. When Dr. Maningus arrived Mary was singing a Glenn Miller song and he was so surprised. He remarked he wouldn’t mind listening to her at all. This was another Doctor who never refused anyone because of Medicare. He just treated all people equal. I also dealt a lot with Dr. Herzlinger and Dr. Soifer who are dentists. They never refused services either. I also had Dr. Sinniapkin and he never refused services because of Medicare.
I realize we have a small community here but I dealt with many many doctors over the years and not one ever refused any of my people service because of Medicare. I wonder, dear reader, what will happen in the future to the elderly who have to use Medicare. When I was denied service I almost cried to think that a doctor would refuse to treat me. I am so glad I do not have this to deal with now. Heaven only knows what I would have said if this was when I just started in my business. To me you are putting down the elderly and the only thing important to those doctors is the money. If they are complaining about their cost than maybe they don’t need the fancy offices and all the personnel. Dr. Pitkin has worked as a MD for over 50 years in the same office without the fancy furniture and he still did well. This is one of the things you really appreciate in the world today. I always loved the elderly people and now I have joined the ranks of being one of them. Come to think of it, dear reader, most of the Doctors I know are almost there to……………
Love Red

ALCOHOL AND THE ELDERLY

2008-03-26T11:01:00.000-07:00

I heard a news report today on the elderly & drinking. I am always interested when someone says elderly, of course. I just wish they would tell me when you get elderly because I can’t figure this out.
One of my people was an alcoholic and I did not even realize this until she had been there for several months. I had received a call from the hospital in Ballston Spa looking for an empty bed for a lady. You know me, dear reader, I never say no. It just happened one of my people had died a few days earlier so I had room This lady, Annie, was in her early 80’s, a little thin and not too friendly at first. She had a home but could not go back and live alone. I was not told why but of course I took her home with me. When we arrived home she said hello to everyone and then wanted to know where her room was. I showed her and then sat down to have a talk and find out what she liked and didn't like. This was always very important to folks so they would feel like it was their home also.
It was important to know what they liked to eat and what TV programs they preferred which sometimes was a little touchy. What time they preferred to go to bed and get up. We always tried to make the person feel like they could do anything and sometimes it got very interesting. This was not always easy but we always managed. The times we ran into problems was when some wanted to watch “soaps” on one channel and of course others wanted to watch on a different channel. I solved this by taping one program so eventually they all watched all the soaps. If I never hear another“soap” program I will be happy!!!
I got Annie settled in her room and started getting dinner together. She came out to the kitchen and wanted to help but I told her the kitchen was “off limits” when we were cooking. I got her a cup of coffee so she could sit at the table and talk while I worked. She wanted me to take her to her house the next day to get her clothes. I said “I don’t have a problem with that but you must remember you cannot stay there”. She replied” I just want my clothes, nothing else and it won’t take me very long”. She told me her husband had died a couple of years ago and he was a pharmacist. She had been living alone and just could not do it anymore. The next day I took her to her home down by Albany. It was a beautiful home in a very nice neighborhood. We proceeded to go inside and get her things together. I let her pack all she wanted and then she went in the bathroom to get her own towels and lotions. I loaded everything and we headed home. She wanted lunch and so we stopped at a diner and got a sandwich. She mentioned she would like a drink but I said no because of your medicines. She wasn't too happy but that seemed fine. We got home and unloaded everything and I left her in her room putting everything away. When she came to the table she was in a very good mood and I figured it was because she had her own things. After dinner I sat at the table and she came over and sat down and stared talking about her money!!!She said there was several hundred dollars in a jar in the closet at her house in loose change her husband had saved. I asked her why she did’t tell me when we were there and she said she forgot about it. She thought maybe I could go get it the next day! I asked her who her lawyer was and she said she didn't have one. I told her I knew a person she could call because I was not going to her house again without a person with me. She hired the lawyer and he took care of everything. She had no idea she had so much money. Her husband’s car was still in the garage (new) . She had no relatives and neither did he. I could write a book on this lady… She was always very happy to go see the lawyer. I would take her to the office but never go inside with her. I figured the less I knew the better I was. I had been making plans to go to Indiana and visit my family and she begged me to take her. I finally gave in and she went with me. It was nice but I never tried something like that again. She would have one of my workers take her for rides and I thought everything was fine. Than one morning she acted so strange. Not any one thing just a lot of small things. She was so grouchy and irritable. Food didn't taste right, and then I noticed she was kind of shaky. I took her to the ER at Saratoga Hospital and the Dr. recognized her immediately. She was having withdrawal symptoms from drinking. When we moved her stuff to my home she had managed to put a lot of small liquor bottles in with her clothes!!!! That was when I found out the background and I was amazed. It seems her and her husband both drank a lot, starting when he retired. He died and she had been in and out of the hospital many times over drinking and falling. She got admitted to the Mental Health and then into a rehabilitation center. She used to call me once in a while and say hello but she died from cancer in rehabilitation center a few months later. It was so sad because she really was a very nice person who was just very very lonely.
I wonder how many elderly people there are who are just lonely and need someone to care. I know how nice it is around here to have Dr. Pitkin to make house calls because at least they have someone who cares. Come to think of it I think I better call him myself……
Love Red

GETTING PERSONAL

2008-03-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

I have really been a long time in writing in my blog. I must apologize again for being so slow!!
I was having trouble with my eyes and just had to find the answers—I am one of the impatient types. Last July my eye doctor told me I had macular degeneration. I had not heard of this before and he said it was nothing to worry about and gave me some vitamins to take. I asked if I needed new glasses and he said no it wouldn’t help right now.I told him I would do anything to keep my sight no matter what the cost. He said I was doing fine and not to worry. Than in August Dr. Pitkin told me I had Diabetes2. Now I am starting to worry because I do not have time for all of these things. I am not used to anything being wrong so I got really upset. I called my dear friend Dr. Hurt at the MAYO CLINIC in Rochester Minnesota and explained to him about being diagnosed with Diabetes2 and asked him what I should do. You will appreciate his answer, dear reader, because he does not mince words!!!! He said “Do you really want me to tell you?” I said “I most certainly do because I do not have time to worry about this”!! He replied very slowly saying, “Get the fat off, Ruth. You must walk more everyday for at least a half hour. I reply ” I can’t walk that long on my treadmill, because I can’t breathe good.” He said” Than walk for ten minutes, take a break and do ten more until you have walked thirty minutes a day.” If you do that you will notice your blood sugar will drop”. So I started doing what he said and very slowly I noticed a change. I even started breathing better!! Dr. Pitkin had also sent me to the Diabetic Center in Glens Falls to see Karen Hogan. I cannot begin to tell you what a difference this made in my life. So I started doing what he said and very slowly I noticed a change. I even started breathing better!! Dr. Pitkin had also sent me to the Diabetic Center in Glens Falls to see Karen Hogan. I cannot begin to tell you what a difference this made in my life. You never feel rushed or dumb about being a diabetic. This first visit took over an hour and it went fast. She explained everything to me and gave me such great foods to eat that I felt like a new person when I left. By now I am into October and feeling much better, lost 26 lbs. walking on the treadmill!!. Started writing blogs and thought everything was fine. In December I had my eye surgery for droopy eye lid and it helped so much to see.
Than in January I noticed I was having a little trouble seeing things on the computer clearly. This time I called the Mayo Clinic and found out they had a research program going for people with Macular Degeneration. If I qualified I would have regular exams and all my medicine would be paid for, for the next five years. I thought this would be great so I agreed to be tested. I flew out to the Mayo Clinic in February and was tested. When the Dr. finished he said ‘Your Macular Degeneration is to far advanced.” I could hardly believe what I was hearing. I had absolutely no idea it was getting so bad. I asked him for a time frame and he said I would probably be blind in 5 years. I really thought I could handle anything but this just knocked me off my feet. I don’t remember leaving the Clinic and going back to the hotel but I remember how angry I was and crying and trying to explain this to Dave and all my friends. It was just devastating to me. How could I take care of my people if I was blind?? How could I see my daughter’s face again and so many things My friends all tried to cheer me up and I knew the Dr. was wrong. After I thought about it for a while I remembered that this was a Dr. and not God.
When God tells me than I will believe it, and He hadn’t told me yet!!
When I was talking to my attorney I told him about the trip. He said “You must go get a second opinion!” So I went to the Lions Eye Center in Slingerlands. There the Dr. did all the tests and also injected dye into my eye for a complete exam. When he finished he told me I have mild to moderate Macular Degeneration and as long as I continued to take Oculite with Lutein twice a day and eat a lot of green leafy vegetables and fish three times a week I should be fine. He said in his opinion I would have good vision for about 15 years. I told him what happened at the Mayo Clinic and he told me “When the Mayo Clinic runs a research program for Macular Degeneration they only take people who have been diagnosed within the last month. The Dr. probably meant I was too far advanced for his research and not that my macular degeneration was to far advanced!! He did not know why he gave me five years but in his opinion I was doing well and was not advanced. I tell you, folks, I felt like a million dollars.
Then I read about Governor Patterson and realize I have no business complaining! I still have a lot going for me so I guess I just needed a “wake-up” call and I sure got it. I have to remember to count my blessings because I sure have a lot and to all my many friends who helped prop me up I say, from my heart, Thank You and I love you folks, dearly.
I will get back to doing my blogs, so please dear readers hang in there with me because I still have a lot of stories. I remember………
Love RED

GENTLEMEN OF THE OLD SCHOOL

2008-01-30T16:55:00.000-08:00

I received a call from Dr. Pitkin one day. It seems a lady had to go to the hospital and she needed a place for her husband to stay while she was gone. They were both in their late 80”s. The problem with Albert was, he was in a wheelchair because he had no legs. Doc( I always called Dr. Pitkin, Doc) said Albert was really very good at dressing & caring for himself, so I said sure. Albert was a gentleman from the “old school” Extremely good natured man with a twinkle in his eyes and excellent manners. He really tried to take care of his own needs with little or no help. He always wore a smile and loved to talk, mostly about his wife. His wife, Lulu, was a retired school teacher and she knew Gertrude,( from a previous story.) The had taught school together for several years. Albert told us that Lulu told him to mind his manners at our place. She was also very jealous of him. He said it used to be when he went out in his garden to pull weeds, if the neighbor lady came out Lulu made him come in the house. He was really proud of her. They had never been separated and he really missed her. Their 62nd anniversary was the next day so I arranged with the hospital for Albert to call Lulu. I remember most of the conversation was “Yes, Dear”!!!!”Yes Dear”!! Than he said “ There are no young women here!!” I really loved that part.!! I must have been elderly than and just didn't know it !!The next day for lunch I served soup and sandwiches. Albert watched Gertrude very carefully. When she was almost done she picked the bowl up and drank the broth. Albert sat there a few minutes and than did the same thing. When lunch was over Albert went to his room for a nap. Than he told me “ If Gertrude can drink from the bowl, so can I and Lulu can't complain”!!! (:>)!!
It was always a pleasure to care for men who had always been “gentlemen” but than of course there are the others. The ones who have no manners or respect for themselves and the rest of the world.
I had one of them, very early in the business. I received a call from a lady who needed a place for her father who was in his 80's. He was in the hospital and was due to be discharged but could not go home. You know the answer to that one—he came the next day. Homer was definitely not from the “old school”!! He used a wheel chair and got around very slowly. Never had very many nice things to say. He was the type who hated the world. Everyone just kind of stayed clear and he stayed in his room a lot. He was married to a woman in her late thirties who had a blind daughter , 7 years old. She thought by marrying him she would inherit his house and property. He never told her 20 years ago he put everything in his son's name and he had nothing except his social security check. When he was due to be discharged from the hospital she refused to take care of him. Homer had a terrible habit of always trying to look down someones blouse. Once he even grabbed one of the aides , you know where. I finally told him if he did anything like that again I would call Dr. Pitkin and see to it he was put in a nursing home. He behaved for a while but eventually he was back to his old tricks. He had a heart attack a few months later and went to the hospital. He treated the nursing staff the same way he treated me. When attempting to put a catheter in he had a lot of horrible comments to make about the way the nurse had to hold his penis to insert the catheter. Through it all she maintained her professionalism!!! I thought how professional she was and my admiration for nurses went way up. It just goes to show all the jobs are not easy ,by any means.. .He died about two weeks later. His daughter used to stop and visit him but she said he was always like that and the daughters just didn't like to visit him. I could understand why. I always tried to treat everyone the same but there were the ones like him you just could not even give a hug!!!After he died the daughter asked me to go with her to the house and see what was left. She said his wife had moved out a month before but she was afraid to go alone. So , of course, I went with her. This is one of the worst places I ever saw. The dirty dishes were all over the floor, it looked like when you finished a meal you just pushed everything on the floor. The clothing was a least a foot deep in every room. Some of the clothes still had price tags on them and the only thing I could think of was someone shop lifting. How a blind child lived here was beyond me. I could not figure out how a blind child walked around in this filthy mess nor how Homer got around in his wheelchair!!! In the mess was about 75 “taped stories” from the blind, which evidently was sent for the child to listen to. I did help gather all these up and took them to the post office. You could not see the floor anywhere. It made you think the one who got the worst end of the whole mess was the little 7 year old blind child......
Love Red

BEING A PROFESSIONAL CAREGIVER

2008-01-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

I must say I am sorry to be so long in posting a blog. I have been so busy with my job that it just took all my time. I am caring for a lady who has been sent to the hospital to be prepared for dialysis. This is so hard to see. She made the choice and the family has always tried to respect their parents wishes. It is always so great to be involved with a family that cares for their parents.
This is what is so very very hard at being a caretaker. I love my “patients” dearly. I was told many times,over the years, to be “professional” about this but I never could figure out how you did that. No matter what you do for the people they are always so grateful and just to put a smile on their face makes my day. After all--- what do they have in life. They are not going out to dinner, shopping, to the movies, or visiting friends. They are dependent on their families and friends for everything. If they become a little “short” with the person trying to care for them so what???? they need someone to listen at times and this is part of our job. I gave many hugs to people over time. I never heard anyone complain and most of the time I got one back. When anyone got depressed and wanted to cry I had the answer-- I always said if we are going to cry I will get a box of Kleenex and next Tuesday we will sit at the table and just cry. This always worked and later someone would say thank you for being there and listening!!
When I was young---yes I was once----(:>) my Mother & my sister, Joy, worked in a Nursing Home. I guess this is where I got some of the education about old people. Way back in the 50's you put your folks in a nursing home and that was that. My Mother always felt sorry for them—like they were deserted or just left to die.
One of the saddest memories was of my sister, Susie. Susie got Multiple Sclerosis when she was 30. She had 5 small children at that time and it was so terrible . She was put in a nursing home because it was so bad she couldn't walk and very slowly the disease took over her whole body. Life in a nursing home was not easy. So many of her personal things were stolen or ” borrowed” by others. Her perfumes , clothing, any gifts we sent were gone and no one seemed to care or know what happened to them. I sent her a large floral arrangement one year at Christmas. I live in NY & she was in Indiana. I specified that there was to be a lot of miniature animals on this because she loved that. Christmas morning when my sister,Joy, called I asked how Sue liked her flowers. She said “ What Flowers”?? I called the nursing home and it got very interesting. First they said they had no idea what I was talking about. I won't go through all the conversations but the end result was I told the lady on the phone the flower arrangement better be back in her room by morning and if it wasn't back I would call the Police Department. Surprise!!!Surprise!! It was there by evening!! How can people steal from helpless people?? She couldn't even yell for help if necessary.
Sue was a very religious person and she developed a “friendship” with a “healer”. This healer had Sue believing she would be healed if she went to a revival meeting in Chicago. Some of the nurses got together and took her there. This was not easy because it was a four hour drive from the nursing home to get there. Sue would do anything to get better. When Sue finally got there and the “healer” placed her hands on her absolutely nothing happened!! This was just devastating to her. Sue had been so sure she would be cured. These people had done a terrible thing to her with their lies and promises. She thought God had deserted her and it was horrible. It took a long time but she finally found God again and she started to gain interest in things. To watch her over the years was so hard. She loved her kids but it was at the point where she could no longer even talk to them.
She developed pneumonia and went to the hospital. I flew home and she was hooked up to so many machines. We asked to have them stopped but it was unheard of. She just wanted to die. The only way to communicate was for her to blink her eyes. One blink was yes and two was no. Sometimes she blinked three times and would smile!! She was finally sent back to the nursing home and she died in her sleep. I said than no one in my family would ever be placed in a nursing home and since than no one has.
I know there are great nursing homes now but I prefer to take care of my family while I can.
No one knows how long they have. I am happy when I wake up on the right side of the grass---like the man said, “There is no sign hanging off your toe that reads “EXPIRES ON_______!!!!s So enjoy life ......until the next time........
Love Red

GETTING STARTED

2008-01-01T15:43:00.000-08:00

I am going to be talking about how I got started taking care of the elderly. It was really something I had not planned on or even thought about. My husband was a truck driver and I only had one daughter so I was bored.
I had the nicest neighbors in the world. They were both school teachers and we visited back and forth a lot. Many times when I knew they would be getting out of school I made fresh coffee and took it over and we would have coffee and discuss things. One day Phyllis told me of the hard time they were having with her Grandmother who was 93. It seemed her Grandmother lived with her daughter. The Grandmother, Gertrude, was supposed to go to Syracuse and stay with her other daughter for six months. Well, she couldn't go this year because she was having trouble going up and down stairs and the bathroom was on the second floor. Phyllis's Mother needed a break from caring for her and they didn't know what to do. Back than there was no facilities, only Nursing Homes and she sure didn't qualify for that. I volunteered to take care of her. I said I had a bedroom downstairs and she could stay with us for six months and my husband and I would move upstairs!! After all she was in good health and her mind was very good . Everybody thought this was just great. So we moved Gertrude in for six months.
I did not know this would change my world than. This lady was remarkable. She had been a school teacher and taught in a one room school house. I learned so much from her it was remarkable. She was a member of the WCTU (Women's Christian Temperance Association) and very proud of it. There was no drinking in our house so this was not a problem. One time she got sick and I called her Dr. He came ( we were lucky in this town because they made house calls). He recommended she have a glass of wine before dinner to help her digestive system!! She was so upset she informed him she didn't drink and he should be ashamed of himself for encouraging the use of alcohol! Than she refused to pay him for the visit. It was never mentioned again. She belonged to the Eastern Star and had a secret sister. This was a very proud thing for her. Gertrude spent a lot of time knitting. She would sit by the window looking out and just knit away. She never knit on Sunday. Never!! I asked her why she was so quiet on Sunday and she said she spent the day just counting her blessings and it always took all day. She said she had so many blessings she just had to spend the day thanking God for what she had. I asked her how she kept her mind so sharp and she said she never missed the 6:00 news on TV. She wanted to know what was going on in the world. One time we were watching the news and there was an advertisement for birth control pills. She listened very intently and when it was over she said , with a twinkle in her eyes,” I am not sure what he was talking about but I don't think I need to worry at my age!!!” Than there was the time she had a headache and I offered her a Tylenol. She informed me she didn't need medicine she would just concentrate for a while and it would go away and it did. Gertrude had came to my home in June and was to go back to her daughter's in December. I was sure going to miss her she was just so interesting.
Than in November my daughter was in a car accident. She was hit head on by another driver, who died. My daughter was in the ER when we saw her. She had broken ribs , broken a couple of fingers, large cut on her face, broken wrist , torn kneecap. The Dr. said she would be fine we just had to wait for everything to heal.
He thought there were no major problems and we could go home and when they had the cast on he would call us. Of course we were so relieved to know it wasn't to bad. It was about 5:30 am and we headed home because I had to get Gertrude up for breakfast.
About 10:00 am the phone rang and the Dr. said we needed to come right back to the hospital something was very wrong. We left immediately and went there. The Doctor said they had discovered her lungs had collapsed and the steering wheel had hit her chest with a glancing blow and her aorta vessel could rupture at any time. They could not fly her to Albany Med because even the jolt of the elevator could kill her. The only thing they could do was operate immediately. This operation had never been done before in the Glens Falls hospital but it was the only chance she had. I remember walking down the hallway and telling her she had to go upstairs but she better remember her Mother was waiting for her. Her Father talked to her for a few minutes and we walked out towards the waiting room. Beside the waiting room was the ladies room. I went in the ladies room, got on my knees and told God if he would give me back my daughter I would devote my life to taking care of people. I got her back and I have , since that day, devoted my life to taking care of people.
It is amazing how fast your life can change. My life, as I knew it, was over and I had made a turn in another direction. It was going to be a long road but very interesting.
I will close, dear friend, and continue with this story next time.
Love to all Red

PEACE AND QUIET

2007-12-31T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am so glad to have the holidays over!! I miss the time I spent with my people and the fun and the laughter. Everything always seemed so beautiful and we always watched for the snow. The biggest treat for my people was if a deer happened to walk by the big window. That was the ultimate enjoyment.

The only time it seemed to get hectic was when I would get a call on Fridays about 4:30 and some one would say " I need a bed for a "little old lady"!! I wonder where that phrase came from. It was never for a old woman , large female, old man but a " little old lady! When the call came on Fridays at 4:30 it was always the Department of Adult Protective Services and they knew the answer before they called. Of course we always made room.

This was for a lady, Anna, who needed a place for some rest and peace. Her family was really giving her a hard time. The family was well known in this area and it seemed each daughter (3) and son (1) wanted power of attorney. Than there was the question of who was getting what!! I never seen so much arguing. They woul;d come to visit their Mother one by one and it was always the same. It got to the point where the family was asking my employees who said what to their Mother when they weren't here!!Of course everyone was upset because it bothered them to see such actions from a family. Anna had severe rheumatoid arthritis and a colostomy so she was not in great health. I finally suggested she hire an attorney and stop all the arguing. It took some talking but she finally did and what a relief for us. She told her children she had given power of attorney to a lawyer and made out a will. You would have thought the world had stopped to hear them. After that they didn't come to see her much more. She had a stroke and ended up in a nursing home. I always said I hoped she lived long enough for the nursing home to take all her money.
I saw so much of this over the years, dear reader, and it was always so sad.
I remember telling my Mother to spend her money because she sure earned it. Just raising me was hard enough (:>)!!! but there were seven others in the family.
Mom also took care of my Grandparents for three years and than went to college! My Father was so shocked when she said she was going to college at the age of 50. He couldn't believe she would do that--it wasn't what you did back than. Mom went anyway and when she graduated you would have thought it was his idea !! Than she taught school for ten years so she deserved to have anything she wanted.
I must close dear friend, but I will post more in a couple of days. I want to take time to wish everyone

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Love to all Red

Smoking or No Smoking

2007-12-21T12:35:00.000-08:00

I was asked recently what my rules were for smoking in my home. . I am sorry to say I smoked also and it was easy for rules with me. You had to go out doors for a cigarette and I was surprised that anyone would. I was a heavy smoker—up to 4 packs a day!!! Now I wonder how I managed but it just seemed like I lit one and put it down and than another. Dr. Pitkin tried many times to get me to quit but I was not to smart. I thought I could escape the bad effects. That thought stayed with me for many years and than my husband died. He did not have lung cancer so I still thought I was OK. Than my second husband died and this was from lung cancer!! Now I am getting worried and the final blow was when my sister dies from lung cancer.
I decided I better do something because this was serious. I was diagnosed as COPD. I knew now I had to quit but nothing seemed to work Than I discovered the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. I called and they got me in for the eight day program. This is easy to do—all you need to do is look up Mayo Clinic Rochester Minnesota and look for the NICOTINE DEPENDENCE CENTER. This is a remarkable place. You only stay for 8 days ( a lot of insurance programs pay for this ) and when you are out eight days later your smoke free!! I am happy to say I have never smoked again. I can't believe it only took 8 days to quit when I tried for many years!!! My big regret is I didn't quit sooner.
I had a lady who had lung cancer and was on oxygen 24 hours . She was so nice but so sick, weighed about 90 pounds. It was very hard for her to even walk to the table to eat let alone go to the bathroom. She just loved living in my home-thought this was just the cats meow!! Than one day the great STATE OF NEW YORK decided I could not have people on oxygen. It seems you had to be a nurse to set the dial on the oxygen machine. It didn't matter that I had been in business for 20 years they knew more than me. Of course I had many folks on oxygen, dear reader, over the years. The thing that made this so bad was she wanted to stay in my home for her last days. I made a phone call and asked if someone could let me know when the state was going to do an inspection. The person agreed so I waited. Sure enough one morning I got a phone call and all the person said was “Today is it”. There was no name or anything. So we waited. I had told Lucy what was going on and she knew she would lose her oxygen for about 10 minutes. It wasn't long and the inspector arrived. When they came in we introduced everyone and they went to check on the bedrooms. As soon as they came out of the bedroom Lucy said she needed to go to the bathroom. We were lucky because I had four bathrooms. Lucy goes in the bathroom and yells out she is going to take a shower. I said that was ok to go right ahead. I asked her if she needed help and she said “No”!! About 5 minutes later the inspector left and we rescued Lucy from the bathroom where she set with her oxygen on and the water just running. She had the biggest smile on you ever saw!!! We had put the oxygen machine in the tub and draped the shower curtain over it. It worked. Lucy lived about three more months and died in her sleep but I know she was happy to be where she was loved. Lucy was a person who only had her Social Security and there were not many places you could live on that but she was one of "My People" so she stayed. I always tried to cooperate with the state but I dealt with people not rules. If I complied with their rules many people would not have been with me, dear reader, but I will save that story for another time.....
Love to all Red

Elderly Wearing Make-up

2007-12-18T07:01:00.000-08:00

I realize I haven't posted anything for a while and I am sorry for the delay. I took a few days off for my daughters wedding and than eye surgery. My daughters wedding was just lovely even if the piano player didn't show because we had a storm. Imagine that!!!! The only terrible part of the wedding was the fact that the bakery where she ordered the cake forgot to make it!! I do not understand how this happened but the Hotel came through with a small cake. This will be a story for her to tell for a long time but it could have been worse.... she could have been stood up!! They managed to get married and leave on a cruise before the big snow storm hit so it ended nicely.
I had eye surgery the next morning to correct a drooping eye lid. I asked the Doctor if he could fix my whole body but he declined. I really droop in places (:>)!! I figure all the marks and wrinkles have a story of their own and why ruin this piece of art by looking beautiful??? I remember one time when I had Fran Williams, a dear friend, do my make-up. She worked very hard and it took quite a while. I must confess I really did look great. When I went to pick up my grandchildren they didn't know me so that was the end of make-up. I just go with what I have and smile a lot.
It is rather ironic as we get older we do not worry so much about that. With my people I could count on my hand the number of ladies who still put on make-up.
There was a lady called Mary, who was about 84 when she came to my home. She had fallen in her home and broke her wrist and when someone finally checked on her it had healed quite crooked. Mary was about 5'4” and very pretty for her age. She had been a blond but now was a silver color and from her pictures you could tell she was really a beautiful lady. Mary was very cheerful, always laughing and really enjoyed telling stories.I asked her once why she never married and she said “If you get married you only get one fur coat and I have three!!” She had worked as a waitress in many classy places in Saratoga and at one time had waited on Sophia Tucker. Sophia gave Mary 3 $1.00 bills which she signed and told Mary someday they would be worth money. Mary still had them when she came to live in my home. I remember when Mary told us how her father was a boot-legger. He had a garage with doors on both ends. When he came home he put the car in the garage than later in the evening he “loaded” it and drove out the other end. During the day he repaired shoes!! She remembered going to the Lakehouse with her boyfriend and Al Capone's bodyguards sat on the roof with guns. When Mary was telling stories everyone was listening. They forgot all their problems just listening to Mary.
It was always interesting how my people would look out for each other. I will write more about Mary later because she gave so much if herself to all who knew her.
I know blogs are supposed to be short but it is hard to write short stories about some people, dear readers, so please let me know if they are too long....
Love Red

Gifts for the Elderly

2007-12-11T08:29:00.000-08:00

I read an article the other day about gifts for the elderly. It seems like everyone has an idea on this subject but what I find interesting is no one asks them what they like. They want COMPANY!!!!They love having visitors stop. You don't have to spend the day,dear reader, but try for half an hour. What is thirty minutes of your time?? They have all day to kill time and 24 hours can feel like forever when someone has a visitor and you have none! To sit and chat about the neighbors or kids and if your stuck for conversation just ask a question about their past. The elderly love to talk about the time gone by ( I know I am one also) but make them feel like you care. You hear and read that the best thing you can do is send magazines or buy stationary and stamped envelopes. Do you realize most of them have a hard time writing ? I know they like reading but this is what they do when no one visits. You could volunteer to take them for a ride to see decorations.
My people could not get enough of decorating—even went so far as to decorate the bathroom.
One thing I should mention is do not bring food without checking first.
I had one gentleman who would “steal” anything he could to eat and he was a diabetic.
I discovered this by accident and it was very ingenious the way he pulled it off. When my people sat down to eat it was always as a family. Everyone came to the table, we had a prayer and than they would eat. I had taken in an extra person ( what else is new) so there was not enough room for me to sit with them. I was keeping up light conversation and Harold asked for a slice of bread. I reminded him he was to only eat one slice per meal and he said I didn't get any. I was sure he had but gave him one and figured I had goofed up. I could do that a lot when we were busy. I was standing by the table and saw Pete( who sat next to Harold) very slowly edge his hand under the edge of the table and reach the bread and pull it right off the plate!!! I told him to stop and he said he was so hungry he just had to take food. Pete was about 6'2” and probably weighed 200 so he had no problem but wanted FOOD!!!!
He wasn't the only one who could do this. I had a lady named Anita who would take anything food or otherwise and hide it in her room. We were always checking her dresser for what ever was missing.
When I called the Emergency Squad one time my sister ,Esther, ran to help me with the lady who had fallen. On the way she put her glasses on the table. After everyone left we could not find Esther's glasses. We went through everything , all the rooms, asked the people but to no avail.
That night when I leaned over to give Anita a kiss goodnight I felt this object in her pillowcase and guess what glasses!!! She said someone must have put them there because she wouldn't do that-------
Love to all, Red

The Sprit of Giving

2007-12-05T07:08:00.000-08:00

I know it is always better to give than to receive but it really hit home with"my people". The residents in my home were not called residents when I started this . They were and always will be "my people". This was my family and I treated them like family. We laughed together and of course there were times when we cried together.

When holidays came it was very hard on the ones who did not have any relatives or friends calling on them or sending cards. You cannot imagine, dear reader, how important those cards were to them. It meant someone cared where they were and missed them. To not receive a card would be very hard, but I had an answer for that. The Department of Adult Services in my area always came through if I called with a problem. Someone would come calling on my people and they always brought more gifts than we needed. Of course Sister Lauren from Catholic Family Services would drop by with more gifts. Than came the other churches and there would be so much for these beautiful people. The churches also sent the Youth Choir to sing and I always cried at the beauty of this. They would take "requests" from the folks and it was just unbelievably beautiful. There were times when someone would get depressed and I had a great answer for them. I would tell them if they wanted to cry we would all get together next Tuesday at the table with a box of Kleenex and just cry. I said I didn't have time today because I would have red eyes to match my hair and that wasn't good. It always seemed to work.

There was one person who came to visit her father-in-law and she brought two children with her. I said ti the children " I bet your waiting for Santa to come" and the lady got so mad!!!! She informed me that she never lied to her children and they knew better than to believe in such stupidity!!. I was really shocked but said I was sorry but we believed in Santa and that was the end of the conversation. After she left her father-in-law said he was sorry she was rude but that he hoped Santa would find him!!. I gave him a big hug and said I was sure he would and of course he did.!!!

One of the things my people enjoyed a lot was decorating. Some would hang things and others supervised. When it came to the tree they all managed to help in one way or another. One year we had decorated the tree and it was so beautiful with all the trim and lights. One lady, who used a walker, was walking past the tree on her way to the dinner table, lost her balance and fell on the tree!! I must tell you, dear reader, that I laughed so hard----she was not hurt --but if you can imagine this lady who was 5'7" weighed about 200 , on the floor with part of the tree, with the lights still on, on her you would laugh also.

On Christmas morning ,while having breakfast, it was always mentioned who heard the noises on the roof last night, or who was peeking!! These people were just like kids and I loved all of it.

I do hope someone enjoys this because it is so nice to share my memories of all the years gone by-------

Love, Red

The day before Christmas

2007-12-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

The day before Christmas I was thinking back to when I got a phone call on the day before Christmas. . I had only been in business of caring for the elderly for 18 months but word spread fast and I had 7 residents by now. I had only planned to have 5 but here is another rule . I made a Golden Rule that I would never turn anyone away weather they could pay or not. That story is for another time, dear reader.When I answered the phone it was Sister Lauren, with the Catholic Family Community Services,and she was looking for a bed!! Surprise! Surprise! She was at the Saratoga Hospital and was trying to find a place for an 88 year old woman . The lady had been beaten and raped and than managed to crawl, in the snow and cold, two blocks for help. The people called 911 and she was taken to the hospital. The Dr.'s said she needed to go to a facility for permanent care. She had been living in a shack with dirt floors and depending on "friends" for help. These so called friends would charge her $5.00 for a loaf of bread so she really was in a terrible situation. Her husband had died when he was 28 from a heart attack and she never re-married. She had her Veterans Pension & Social Security which amounted to about $450.00 a month.When Sister Lauren asked if I had an extra bed I said of course. Do you think I could say no on Christmas Eve? I am not sure how I done it but she brought Verna to my house. Verna was a tiny lady about 4'10" and probably weighed 90 pounds. When she came into the house she was so shocked because she had never been in a house with floors let alone carpets. She just glowed like a child looking at the decorations. It made everyone happy just to watch her. When we got her ready for her bath she was so scared. It seems she had never seen a tub or shower before so it was interesting. She had a nice warm bath and had her hair washed. IT was so long but I managed to wash and dry it. The drier really fascinated her!! I noticed she was getting very upset and I asked her what was wrong. She said she was afraid I would send her back to where she had been living in the morning. I reassured her she would always be with me. The next morning when the residents had finished breakfast we gathered in the living room for the opening of the gifts. When I handed her a gift she just cried. It seems she had not received anything in years and could not understand how there was a gift for her there. I told her I knew she was going to receive gifts because I had caught a glimpse of Santa just as he was leaving!! That was one of many happy Christmas's we had at Miner's Home for the Elderly.
Love to all, Red

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Freedom for the Elderly

2007-11-26T11:11:00.000-08:00

The day has finally arrived!!

I have reached the point where I am not only a caregiver for the elderly ---I am also one of the elderly. I feel like they look at me and are thinking " How can she take care of me when she is also elderly"??
How do you know when your elderly? When your 60-70 can't see good or hear good?? This is a label like now your a senior citizen ;over the hill and more!!
I found out I was elderly when I broke my tailbone and when 911 was called it was " an elderly lady has fallen!!!!" I guess I graduated.

I got involved in this venture many years ago when I started a Home for the Elderly. Many people say they could never stand this type of work but to me it is not a job.You need a sense of humor and know how to laugh because that can get you through almost anything.

One of my Golden Rules was NEVER let anyone know you don't know what is wrong!! No matter what the problem is you learn how to "wing it", as the Dr Pitkin was always saying.

If a resident said "I really don't feel good today" You would always say " I wasn't feeling good earlier but now I have had breakfast I feel better!" The goal was to get their mind on something else.

I had one resident who had a very bad compulsive dis-order and she wanted to wash her hands constantly. The Dr. finally got her on some medicine that made her stop but it took a while. She was always sitting in a rocking chair, looking out the window and keeping her eye on the bathroom door. This was to make sure when she wanted to wash her hands the sink would be available!

One day I got another resident in and it got very interesting. He was a little man ( about 5'3" and he happened to pick a rocking chair next to Emma. Those two would sit and rock and discuss their lives for hours. Neither one of them liked TV so they just seemed to go together. I thought this was great because Emma had a rough life and was really a very lonely lady.

When Emma's family brought her to me they never told her she was going to be living there. They brought her in and told her she had been invited for lunch and they started to leave and she grabbed her coat. They told her she was staying and walked out-- just like that. She was crying so hard and begging me to help--- it was so hard on everyone. I finally got her quiet and talked and talked to her . She adjusted but it was so hard. They only came to visit her twice in four years so I was happy she found a friend.

One morning , as I was fixing breakfast for the residents I was listening to them talk when all at once Emma said, " Ed would you marry me?" I stopped what I was doing because I got a terrible feeling that he would say the wrong thing. He was a perfect gentleman through this. He rocked a few times and said ,very nicely, " Emma , it is so nice of you to ask but I promised my wife I would never marry again". Emma kind of sighed and said "OK". I never let on I heard but we gave Emma extra nice compliments for a long time.

I remember one resident quite clearly. Her name was Sarah and she loved cats. I even broke one of my rules buy allowing her to have a kitten in her room. Sarah was in her 80's and had a very bad heart. We really had to watch her closely because she was also on oxygen 24 hours a day. She demanded attention all the time but we were able to work with her very easily but talking about the cat. She fell in love with the Dr. who made house calls. If she knew he was coming she jumped off the bed, scurried to the bathroom and proceeded to wash herself. Than she would put on a pair of baby doll pajama's dab on the perfume and wait until she heard him in the house. At this point she would "recline" on her bed in what she thought was a seductive pose. The Dr. knew this and was always very nice to her. One day as he was checking her heart she said" How many children do you have?" He replied, "I have five children". It got very quiet and than she said" You better keep your pants zipped from now on ". I was so embarrassed but he took it stride and finished checking her out and left. She lived with me for about two years and died. When they read her will she had left everything she had to Cornell University for cat research!. I guess she got the last meow!!
Will try to post more next week.